A day in the life of a BMW driver

Number 6 · 7th July 2017, 20:44

A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver
"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "

tourer · 12th July 2017, 22:23

Hey!
I own a BMW.
Show some respect to your betters.
Cheeky upstart!!!!!

baxlin · 13th July 2017, 05:28

"Many a true word spoken in jest", as my old mum used to say.

tourer · 13th July 2017, 16:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by baxlin

"Many a true word spoken in jest", as my old mum used to say.

So they say.

sundancer · 13th July 2017, 17:28

Apparently both BMW and Audi drivers pull their seats as far forward as possible so they can get even closer to the car in front

I like nothing more than slowing down to about 20 MPH when i get one of the pillocks right up my clink box, It really annoys the s**t out of them, making sure i speed up a bit when there is the remotest chance of them over taking

7th July 2017, 20:44	#1
Number 6 This is my second home Rover 75 tourer Club CD/Limo Tints Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Meneac Posts: 6,759 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 1,609 Times in 869 Posts	A day in the life of a BMW driver A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver "The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! " __________________ ] "I started out with nothing, and Ive still got most of it left!"

13th July 2017, 05:28	#3
baxlin This is my second home Volvo C70 Convertible and JZR 3 wheeler Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Tring, Herts Posts: 3,961 Thanks: 124 Thanked 173 Times in 124 Posts	"Many a true word spoken in jest", as my old mum used to say. __________________ Only my opinion, obviously, so please don’t shoot me if it doesn’t match yours!

12th July 2017, 22:23	#2
tourer Posted a thing or two Rover 75 Tourer CDT Auto. Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Long Eaton Posts: 1,348 Thanks: 30 Thanked 220 Times in 160 Posts	Hey! I own a BMW. Show some respect to your betters. Cheeky upstart!!!!!

13th July 2017, 17:28	#5
sundancer Newbie Rover 75 1.8 Club Tourer, Rover 25 & MG ZR Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: Wolverhampton Posts: 29 Thanks: 3 Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts	Apparently both BMW and Audi drivers pull their seats as far forward as possible so they can get even closer to the car in front I like nothing more than slowing down to about 20 MPH when i get one of the pillocks right up my clink box, It really annoys the s**t out of them, making sure i speed up a bit when there is the remotest chance of them over taking