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13th June 2016, 21:26 | #1 | |
This is my second home
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13th June 2016, 21:30 | #2 | |
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Its just another connection he will play on . Sometimes lady you have to let things go. Your a very brave woman. Stay strong but above all stay safe. |
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13th June 2016, 22:07 | #3 |
Posted a thing or two
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Is the car registered or insured in your name? If so, and you suspect he's been using it for any illegal purpose (or even civil offences like racking up speeding/parking fines etc), then when you talk to the police make sure that you declare that it has not been in your possession - possibly to your insurers and the DVA as well. As Flyer says, forget the car for now - assume it's lost to you and think in terms of making sure it can't be used against you.
Bullies like to prey on those they see as weaker than themselves, whether physically or psychologically. They tend to shy away from confronting people who are capable of standing their ground and fighting back.
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13th June 2016, 22:17 | #4 |
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Some sound advice so far, to which I can only add that you should consider keeping a diary and log every incident or threat. It might also be worth investing in a cheap concealed camera.
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14th June 2016, 06:46 | #5 |
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Anna, I deliver domestic abuse awareness sessions (to accused people) so I have knowledge of how this works in Scotland. These are serious incidents you talk about and you must report them, even retrospectively. What you describe is all about Power and Control from the abuser. Domestic Abuse takes many forms and from you describe you are also subject to what we call Seperation Abuse.
The PF has given strict instructions to Police Scotland to deal with all Domestic Abuse incidents seriously. They have joint protocol which outlines what action Police should take and the Police do have a very strict approach when dealing with Domestic incidents. PF and Police Scotland definition of Domestic Abuse: “Any form of physical, sexual or mental and emotional abuse which might amount to criminal conduct and which takes place within the context of a relationship. The relationship will be between partners (married, co-habiting, civil partnership or otherwise) or ex-partners. The abuse can be committed in the home or elsewhere." There is a real risk you will get on the wrong side of the Police. 90% of my domestic abuse clients are female, most of them because they have reacted to the abuse they are receiving from partners and ex-partners and because they have reacted, they have found themselves getting arrested!!! This is VERY COMMON and so easy to happen. Your ex is a risk you your children. You say he threatened to "stab him in the throat in front of the children" So he has threatened to use extreme violence in the presence of the children. Children should never be exposed to acts of violence or any form of domestic abuse. Trust me, this is part of my work and Child Protection measures can be imposed if children are exposed to such risks. You need to take action, report these incidents to Police Scotland to protect yourself and put into place proper safeguards to protect your children. Strong words but you can't live with these risks. I hope this helps.
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Last edited by Yella Fella; 14th June 2016 at 07:14.. Reason: Additional info. |
14th June 2016, 07:02 | #6 |
This is my second home
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Hi Anna.
I'm shocked and horrified. You must take the advice on here especially what Glenn says. My daughter suffered the very same from her EX with terrible abuse, he was also involved with drugs which was hidden for two years during the time they were together. You have to do something and pretty quick, if something happens to your kids you'll never forgive yourself and if something happens to you your poor children will be distraught. Anna please please take the advice here, I'm sure your partner and all of us here will look after you. Any possibility of moving away?
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14th June 2016, 07:12 | #7 |
This is my second home
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Hi Anna,
Sorry to hear your ex is putting you through this turmoil, As others have said, he is obviously a control freak and losing his grip on you is making him behave in this way ! You have been given some excellent advice from everyone on here about your situation, please do act on it and hopefully that will be enough to make him realise he is behaving in a disgraceful manner and to stop harassing you and ruining his relationship with his children. All the best for you and the kids, stay safe.
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