Unique item - slice of bread with bite missing

[FezzyFox]

I'd snap this up, but I really knead the dough.

Bad considering I'm the breadwinner of the household.

[alanjay]

Originally Posted by lovema75

I've listed a number of items for sale, but this one must surely be the pick of the bunch.

This is not just an ordinary slice of bread, this is from John's Bakery, made to a sweet dough recipe. To add to its desirability, it has a strategically placed bite out of it, giving it an air of mystery and desire.

Do not underestimate the specialist nature of this item. Notice that the bite is not just a mechanical tearing off of food to satisfy a need - this has been thoughtfully bitten, chewed in a contemplative manner and savoured to the last nuance.

Notice the unique markings - the determination of the incisor teeth, projecting masculinity. Plus the quirky appeal of the indentation left by a chipped bicuspid.

This is certainly an item for the discerning collector, for whom the banality of Rubens, Constable and Landseer have become too passée. The juxtaposition of light and shadow show the obtuse relativism of the artists inner conflict, hinted at by the scattering of crumbs on the plate.

The price of this irreplaceable item? I couldn't ask a penny less than £123.75. Remember, this item will be a talking point, and the subject of dinner parties for years to come. With its carefully balanced blend of preservatives it will likely last that long anyway.

Serious enquiries only for this object-d'art.



(All proceeds to Ronda roadtax!)

I've just bought an identical loaf, eaten all of a slice except a piece identical to the missing piece on yours.
Only possible way you can sell it now is if someone buys your slice and my piece.
Let's hope there's a bread restorer who's a club member.

Let's hope that before we go to bed, someone who's well bread reads this thread and knocks it dead.

[klarzy]

Originally Posted by alanjay

I've just bought an identical loaf, eaten all of a slice except a piece identical to the missing piece on yours.
Only possible way you can sell it now is if someone buys your slice and my piece.
Let's hope there's a bread restorer who's a club member.

Let's hope that before we go to bed, someone who's well bread reads this thread and knocks it dead.

Sorry but due to the poor quality of preparation on the initial repair I will not be able to chew this one out in the usual time.
The extent of lateral crumbing will mean this panel will need to be hot buttered and re baked before polishing off.

[alanjay]

Originally Posted by klarzy

Sorry but due to the poor quality of preparation on the initial repair I will not be able to chew this one out in the usual time.
The extent of lateral crumbing will mean this panel will need to be hot buttered and re baked before polishing off.

I thought of buttering you up so you would buy both pieces but I can tell you are a perfectionist.

[klarzy]

Originally Posted by alanjay

I thought of buttering you up so you would buy both pieces but I can tell you are a perfectionist.

No Sir, just a Connoisseur

[alanjay]

Originally Posted by klarzy

No Sir, just a Connoisseur

Likewise Sir but I like to go that extra mile, subject to my speedometer and Sat/Nav agreeing what that extra mile is.

[Mikeal1]

What kind of man takes a bite out of a piece of bread before buttering it?

[alanjay]

Originally Posted by Mikeal1

What kind of man takes a bite out of a piece of bread before buttering it?

A man who wants to make sure it's fresh before he wastes his butter.

[klarzy]

Originally Posted by alanjay

A man who wants to make sure it's fresh before he wastes his butter.

Reminds me of the infamous Roman emperor,,, Tightarse.... sorry, typo.... Titus

[kev75diesel]

This thread appears to have gone stale.

Maybe if we throw some dough at it we can keep it going for just a little longer.