Coronavirus Humour signs /Jokes. - Page 11

kev-rev180 · 20th April 2020, 12:02

why dont the chiness play cricket?. because they have eaten all the bats

Arctic · 21st April 2020, 21:36

This is no joke but how neat is this, hats off to the lady.

https://youtu.be/RTbwcZjrPag

macafee2 · 22nd April 2020, 18:04

sign in undertakers window

Thank you NHS

that is just so wrong

apparently on facebook

macafee2

SCP440 · 22nd April 2020, 20:52

jackatesme · 24th April 2020, 18:13

P1020168 (2) by john barry, on Flickr

jackatesme · 25th April 2020, 15:08

I thought this lock down would bring me and swmbo closer together. Not true,we started off 2m apart which soon went up to 4m,now it's over 6m. The only time we get close,is when we go to bed, even then we sleep back to back.

suzublu · 25th April 2020, 16:59

A vicar in America has just died after injecting himself with disinfectant,
Donald Trump has been arrested and charged with Bleach of the Priest

operamagorum · 4th May 2020, 16:30

Men...

How to avoid, 'The Unnecessary' during Lock-down

Many of you will have to deal with the..erhem, 'Unnecessary', at least once a year. However, during the lock-down, women will forget their place, and try to force you, to perform the, 'Unnecessary', against your will.
Here are some signs, the wife wants to perform the 'Unnecessary' against your will.

1: She comes to bed, without her rollers in.
2: She is not wearing her face-pack.
3: Has undone the top button on her bed jacket.

Men, be vigilant, don't be fooled because the wife has
put three sugars in your cocoa, and is wearing scent.

How to prevent, your wife from forcing you to perform
the, 'Unnecessary' when you are in bed.

1: Put extra tobacco in your pipe, to keep it burning.
2: Place onions and garlic around your neck.
3: Tie an extra knot in your pyjama trousers cord.
4: Keep at least one Ferret in the bed.

If the wife tries to force you to perform the, 'Unnecessary'
while you are sleeping, here are some tips, to see the
deranged woman off, and regain control.

1: Clasp your Ferret close to you.
2: Make a bit of a hullabaloo.
3: Sing the National Anthem.
4: Light your pipe.

These actions should keep you safe, and prevent the wife
from making you perform, the, 'Unecessary' during lock-down.

Lancpudn · 4th May 2020, 19:04

solarsailor · 6th May 2020, 15:00

21st April 2020, 21:36	#102
Arctic Give to Learn Freelander 2 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: West Midlands Posts: 18,696 Thanks: 1,155 Thanked 6,407 Times in 3,874 Posts	This is no joke but how neat is this, hats off to the lady. https://youtu.be/RTbwcZjrPag __________________ Arctic Givology Learn to Give Everything is Achievable ad altiora tendo. Check out our Nano meet dates http://www.midlandsnanomeets.co.uk/ http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/index.php?thepage=howto " You do the work , we supply the expertise "

24th April 2020, 18:13	#105
jackatesme This is my second home rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: rhymney Posts: 3,661 Thanks: 2,269 Thanked 1,242 Times in 702 Posts	P1020168 (2) by john barry, on Flickr __________________ - John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable.

25th April 2020, 15:08	#106
jackatesme This is my second home rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: rhymney Posts: 3,661 Thanks: 2,269 Thanked 1,242 Times in 702 Posts	I thought this lock down would bring me and swmbo closer together. Not true,we started off 2m apart which soon went up to 4m,now it's over 6m. The only time we get close,is when we go to bed, even then we sleep back to back. __________________ - John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable.

4th May 2020, 16:30	#108
operamagorum Loves to post BMW 330i Touring Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Blandford Forum Posts: 378 Thanks: 184 Thanked 159 Times in 89 Posts	The Unnecessary Men... How to avoid, 'The Unnecessary' during Lock-down Many of you will have to deal with the..erhem, 'Unnecessary', at least once a year. However, during the lock-down, women will forget their place, and try to force you, to perform the, 'Unnecessary', against your will. Here are some signs, the wife wants to perform the 'Unnecessary' against your will. 1: She comes to bed, without her rollers in. 2: She is not wearing her face-pack. 3: Has undone the top button on her bed jacket. Men, be vigilant, don't be fooled because the wife has put three sugars in your cocoa, and is wearing scent. How to prevent, your wife from forcing you to perform the, 'Unnecessary' when you are in bed. 1: Put extra tobacco in your pipe, to keep it burning. 2: Place onions and garlic around your neck. 3: Tie an extra knot in your pyjama trousers cord. 4: Keep at least one Ferret in the bed. If the wife tries to force you to perform the, 'Unnecessary' while you are sleeping, here are some tips, to see the deranged woman off, and regain control. 1: Clasp your Ferret close to you. 2: Make a bit of a hullabaloo. 3: Sing the National Anthem. 4: Light your pipe. These actions should keep you safe, and prevent the wife from making you perform, the, 'Unecessary' during lock-down.

4th May 2020, 19:04	#109
Lancpudn This is my second home MG ZS EV Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Lancashire Posts: 15,558 Thanks: 4,591 Thanked 3,427 Times in 2,565 Posts	__________________ Blessed are the tea makers. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3b...auto-2000_auto

20th April 2020, 12:02	#101
kev-rev180 Avid contributor mg ztt 190+ Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: leicester Posts: 211 Thanks: 406 Thanked 56 Times in 38 Posts	why dont the chiness play cricket?. because they have eaten all the bats

22nd April 2020, 18:04	#103
macafee2 This is my second home Rover 75 Saloon & Tourer Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Lincoln Posts: 14,911 Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 3,032 Times in 2,181 Posts	sign in undertakers window Thank you NHS that is just so wrong apparently on facebook macafee2

22nd April 2020, 20:52	#104
SCP440 I really should get out more....... MG ZT-T 260 Join Date: Feb 2016 Location: Witney Posts: 2,504 Thanks: 6 Thanked 910 Times in 571 Posts

25th April 2020, 16:59	#107
suzublu This is my second home rover 75 1.8 vvc club se wedgwood blue Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Seaton Carew Posts: 26,911 Thanks: 65 Thanked 7,142 Times in 4,642 Posts	A vicar in America has just died after injecting himself with disinfectant, Donald Trump has been arrested and charged with Bleach of the Priest

6th May 2020, 15:00	#110
solarsailor Posted a thing or two 75 Saloon 1.8T Club SE Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: Colchester Posts: 1,225 Thanks: 87 Thanked 653 Times in 344 Posts	__________________ This vehicle was born on Wednesday June 4th 2003 @ 08:24:38 This vehicle was the 73,905th 75 to run off the production line, out of 112,381 This vehicle was the 1,862nd 75 1.8 T Club SE to be made out of 3,980 This vehicle was the 6,856th 75 in Wedgewood Blue to be made out of 7,515 Wedgewood Blue 75s

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