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Old 19th March 2020, 15:18   #21
mileshawk56
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Ha Ha who would be a coppers kid. Chris.S.
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Old 19th March 2020, 15:27   #22
Jim Jamieson
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Sorry I can’t link it on here but Scotland’s National Bard. Robert Burns’s poem “To a Mouse”. Has been re written now saying “To a Virus”

It’s brilliant
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Old 19th March 2020, 19:03   #23
Nobby
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from another site but it says it all

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Sometimes I talk to myself, Then we both LAUGH!

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Old 19th March 2020, 19:13   #24
jackatesme
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It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053,when John awoke with the need to use the bathroom. To John this was not just any ordinary Monday morning. He knew this was the day he would be opening the last pack of toilet rolls his parents bought in 2020.
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Last edited by jackatesme; 19th March 2020 at 19:40..
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Old 19th March 2020, 19:43   #25
stocktake
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Coronavirus Rhapsody:

Bet you sing it

Is this a sore throat?

Is this just allergies?

Caught in a lockdown

No escape from reality.

Don’t touch your eyes

Just hand sanitize quicklyyyyy

I’m just a poor boy, no job security

Because of easy spread, even though

Washed your hands, laying low

I look out the window, the curve doesn’t look flatter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man

Didn’t stay inside in bed

I walked by him, now he’s dead

Mama, life was so much fun

But now I’ve caught this unforgiving plague

Mama, oooooh

Didn’t mean to make them die

If I’m not back to work this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on as if people didn’t matter

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body’s aching all the time

Goodbye everybody, I’ve got the flu

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, oooooh

I don’t wanna die

I sometimes wish I never went out at all

I see a little silhouette of a man

What a douche, what a douche

Did he even wash his hands though

Security is tightening

Very very frightening me

Gotta lay low (gotta lay low)

Gotta lay low (gotta lay low)

Gotta lay low masturbate

Masturbate O O O O

I’m just a poor boy, facing mortality

HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FACING MORTALITY

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Touch your face, wash your hands, will you wash your hands?

BISMILLAH NO WE WILL NOT WASH OUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS!)

BISMILLAH NO WE WILL NOT WASH OUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS)

BISMILLAH WE WILL NOT WASH YOUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS!)

WASH YOUR HANDS! (never, never, never wash your hands oh oh oh oh oh oh oh)

No no no no no

Oh mama mia, mia (mama mia wash your hands!)

COVID-19 has a sickness put aside for me, for me

So you think you can stop me and just shake my hand?

So you think we can hang out and not break our plans?

Oh baby, can’t do this with me, baby,

Just gotta stay home, just gotta stay home with my fever

oooooh

Curving can get flatter

Anyone can see

Curving can get flatter

Curving can get flatter, you’ll see

Just look out your windows….
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Old 19th March 2020, 19:46   #26
Kerthan23
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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Old 19th March 2020, 19:50   #27
jackatesme
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Trump speech,"Some people are dying,who have not died before."
Nice to hear him say something logical.
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Old 19th March 2020, 23:43   #28
Arctic
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Just drove about 15 minutes ago to top up with diesel for tomorrow, while I was at the BP station pay before you fill, so topped up then casually asked do you sell loo roll ? yes mate how many do you want just a pack I say so came away with receipt for £16.69p and a pack of 9 loo rolls, I only put £5 diesel in
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Old 20th March 2020, 00:01   #29
Arctic
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It will be for sale soon the new Arctic roll, its long lasting, soft to the touch, it as an extendable use period.

Wipe & Wash with Arctic Roll you know it makes sense.

1
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Old 20th March 2020, 09:01   #30
planenut
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arctic View Post
Just drove about 15 minutes ago to top up with diesel for tomorrow, while I was at the BP station pay before you fill, so topped up then casually asked do you sell loo roll ? yes mate how many do you want just a pack I say so came away with receipt for £16.69p and a pack of 9 loo rolls, I only put £5 diesel in
That's a rip-off!
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