(supposedly) geniune call centre calls

[baxlin]

Apologies if repost, but I found these on another OC forum

Samsung Electronics: (To female caller)
>Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
>Operator: "I'm sorry, I don't understand who you are talking about."
>Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that you
>need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
>before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
>
>
>
>RAC Motoring Services:
>Caller: "Does your European breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling >in
Australia?"
>Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
>
>
>Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
>"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to >the
other side of the car?"
>
>
>Directory Enquiries:
>Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."
>Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
>Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
>fell off."
>
>
>Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
>Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
>Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland."
>
>
>
>Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please."
>Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
>Caller: "The living room."
>
>
>On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box >told
a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
>window to write the number on."
>
>
>Computer Capers:
>Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
>Customer: "OK"
>Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
>Customer: "No"
>Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
>Customer: "No"
>Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
>point?"
>Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
>
>
>Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
>that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
>file back again?"
>
>
>British Rail:
>Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
>Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free."
>
>
>Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through >to
enquiries, can you help?"
>Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
>Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."
>Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."
>
>The Bank:
>Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please."
>Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?"
>Caller: "Three years, please." Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per >month
for 36 months. Is that OK?"
>Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"

[JohnFol]

I went into my local "IT supplier" and asked for a ream of paper. Spotty lad just out of shorts said "I'm sorry we only do A4".