£1,000 per inch

[FLYING BANANA]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.

Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
motorway.

You're going to be okay. You'll walk again and everything.

However, your Willy was severed in the accident, and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have £9,000 in insurance
compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build a new Willy
They work great but
don't come cheap.

It's roughly £1000 an inch." The man perks up.

So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want.

But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this
is something you should discuss with your wife.
If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she
might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to
only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed.
It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes, I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting a new kitchen”.