Over 70, who cares

FLYING BANANA · 1st August 2023, 07:31

One of my many non "PC" comments, but when you're over 70.... who cares?
I was standing at the bar at the Legion one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the Legion last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”;
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Legion about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience
and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the Legion swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to the Legion last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
-------------------------------------------
"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age
by friends, not years, and remember
we do not quit playing because we grow old....
we grow old because we quit playing"

squire · 1st August 2023, 07:40

Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ceetdm · 1st August 2023, 08:10

All of them gave me a laugh 😃

Dorchester2 · 1st August 2023, 08:58

Great jokes that suit me brilliantly: I've just taken 70!
But I rather dislike stitches and the rest...

1st August 2023, 07:31	#1
FLYING BANANA Moderator/Club Shop MG ZT 1.8t+. No.3 of 4 in Sunspot Yellow & Ford Fiesta in Black. Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Rattler Farm Posts: 22,624 Thanks: 9,270 Thanked 15,645 Times in 6,806 Posts	Over 70, who cares One of my many non "PC" comments, but when you're over 70.... who cares? I was standing at the bar at the Legion one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, When you’re over seventy..............who cares? ********* I was talking to a young woman in the Legion last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”; I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”; Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re over seventy...............who cares? ****** I was telling a woman in the Legion about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re over seventy...............who cares? ***** I got caught taking a pee in the Legion swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you’re over seventy...............who cares? ******** I went to the Legion last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re over seventy...............who cares? ------------------------------------------- "Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old.... we grow old because we quit playing" __________________ 233,730 onen hag oll

1st August 2023, 08:10	#3
ceetdm Loves to post Rover 75 CDTi Manual Saloon + Rover 75 CDTi Auto Saloon Join Date: May 2007 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 419 Thanks: 170 Thanked 42 Times in 33 Posts	All of them gave me a laugh 😃 __________________ Rover 75 Saloon CDTi Contemporary SE +pack

1st August 2023, 08:58	#4
Dorchester2 incurable Rover addict Rover 75 Saloon V6 2.5 1999 - Rover 25 1.4 2002 - Rover 214i cab 1994 - Rover P5b coupe 1968 Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Bioule. South West of France. Posts: 1,645 Thanks: 612 Thanked 385 Times in 223 Posts	Great jokes that suit me brilliantly: I've just taken 70! But I rather dislike stitches and the rest... __________________ Rover 75 V6 2.5 Auto Connie born 1 July 1999, 24 kOhms resistor, 10 kOhms manual starter, full E85, modified airbox, full derestricted SS exhaust line, power & torque remap -> 202 bhp This vehicle was the 7,517th 75 to run off the production line, out of 112,381 This vehicle was the 1,190th 75 2.5 V6 Contemporary to be made out of 8,214 This vehicle was the 2,032nd 75 in Atlantic Blue Pearlescent (code: JEY) to be made out of 2,572 Atlantic Blue Pearlescent 75s

1st August 2023, 07:40	#2
squire Posted a thing or two MGB GT, 2 Morris Minor Travellers Join Date: May 2011 Location: Bilston Posts: 1,667 Thanks: 1,610 Thanked 497 Times in 370 Posts	Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣