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Old 20th February 2020, 16:42   #1
wraymond
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Default Can’t get fitter than a Kwick girl fitter.

In the nicest possible way of course. Had two rear tyres fitted today at KwickFit. They weren’t worn out and had over 5mm tread but the date on them was 2-12 so 8 years old. Newbies, beware the date on the tyre wall, there are recommended renewal times and if an accident occurs with you at fault your insurer just might refuse the claim under certain circumstances!

The appointment was 10.00am and I was a minute early, having bought the tyres and made the date on Monday.

The fitter was Amy at Southend on Sea and she was standing there, power wrench in hand and looking at the depot clock in anticipation. The black rubber gloves promised a heady mix of spanner skill and hygiene – perfect.

She threw me a glance, tossed her pony tail and half smiled, we were off to a good beginning.

Amy took one of rubbers off and pointed out to her boss it was bigger than recommended. There was a hush and two of the lads glanced at each other, then, with knowing looks, went slowly back to what they were doing. The boss, nonchalantly, agreed and the right size was rolled out.

All went well, satisfaction guaranteed, and Amy strolled away while I paid the dude at the counter.

I looked back and Amy was leaning against the ramp with feet folded, casually rolling her roll-up ciggie and still smiling.

As I drove away the radio played “You can check out, but you can never leave”. I thought ‘Well, not entirely anyway’.

Then Celia called.
"Where are you?"
"Hello darling, where shall I pick you up?"
"I'm at home you berk. Who've you been talking to, and what's happened to your voice?".





(With apologies to Mickey Spillane)
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Last edited by wraymond; 20th February 2020 at 16:49..
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Old 20th February 2020, 17:19   #2
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I was gone when she took the rubber off.
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Old 20th February 2020, 18:05   #3
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I'm curious about her folded feet

Sent from my Redmi Note 7 Pro using Tapatalk
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Old 20th February 2020, 21:56   #4
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Heady mix ??????

You got too close to someone smoking one of those FUNNY Fags.---Can make you go all breathless this passive smoking.--
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Old 21st February 2020, 16:58   #5
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Default kwik fit southend

I visited this branch just before Christmas - I congratulate you on your successful experience as, when I was there I was subjected to a manager who was obviously trying out his best Basil Fawlty impression (his telephone manner had to be heard to be believed) and then had a fitter (?) attempt to connect two lengths of exhaust with the same inner/outer diameter by the simple expedient of heating one up and beating on the other with a hammer. Unsurprisingly, the end result was not gas-tight but did manage to cause my car to vibrate like a vibraty-thing. Regardless of tool-wielding totty, I will never return
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Old 21st February 2020, 17:28   #6
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My last visit to a KF establishment, for an oil and filter change on mums Polo, had the "yoof" telling me to check the oil again in the morning as it took a while to fill "all the nooks and crannies"!
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Old 21st February 2020, 18:37   #7
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Black rubber gloves
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Old 21st February 2020, 19:30   #8
wraymond
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Post 2: So was I.

Post 3: Folded feet? Crossed at the ankles. Significance: casual confidence, easily and quickly uncrossed for the next punter.

Post 4: Really Jon? ‘Fags, breathless, passive’? Three words in the same sentence – are you sure?

Post 5: Wow Andy, I hope you withheld payment. If that had been part of an MOT it would have ended with a withdrawn licence to operate.

Post 6: So, right for the wrong reasons. Puts the quality of the work in doubt. Guess I was lucky.

Post 7: I know, quite stretchy too.
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Old 22nd February 2020, 18:18   #9
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You are absolutely right and I should have withheld payment, but by the time the idiot with the hammer had finished I had been in the place for two and a half hours and had lost the will to live. In the end I bought a joining sleeve off ebay and did the job myself. I don't like rolling around the ground under cars very much which is why I occasionally wander into Kwikfit/Formula One/halfords only to be utterly disappointed
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Old 23rd February 2020, 12:58   #10
wraymond
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That’s where we differ! I would love to still be able to roll around under my car but seized joints and leaky gaskets prevent!

In your case I think I would have had my phone out for a pic in support of a claim to their head office with a demand for a refund.
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