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4th April 2012, 08:16 | #1 |
Banned
Rover 75 Tourer CDT Connoisseur SE Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Newport
Posts: 1,906
Thanks: 107
Thanked 299 Times in 206 Posts
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Scousers
Scousers
A Liverpool Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her scouser students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Chelsea fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Chelsea fan?' 'Because my mum is a Chelsea fan, and my dad is a Chelsea fan, so I'm a Chelsea fan too!' 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Chelsea fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?' 'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan. |
4th April 2012, 09:39 | #2 |
Passed Away
75 contemporary se cdti Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,579
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A mate of mine just got back from South Wales, stayed in a hotel and paid extra for a room without a view!
Eric |
4th April 2012, 09:49 | #3 |
Owners Club Director
Rover 75 Conn SE V6 / MG ZT 260 SE V8 / MG ZT 180 SE V6 Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Southampton
Posts: 20,914
Thanks: 645
Thanked 6,851 Times in 2,537 Posts
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Time gentlemen please, let's have your glasses
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4th April 2012, 10:45 | #4 |
Gets stuck in
75 Connie Auto CDTi SE Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 923
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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A man and his wife were driving through Wales on their holidays when they suddenly saw a sign that said "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty sili ogogogoch".
The husband attempts to say it, but his wife starts laughing and soon this turns into a argument, so much so that they decide to pull into the nearest motorway restaurant. Finishing their meal, the wife can't help but question the waitress. "Excuse me miss," asked the wife, "but can you settle an argument between my husband and me? Can you pronounce the name of where we are, but very slowly please." The cashier looks at the woman funny and says, "Sure, you are in Liiiiittttttllllleeeee Chhhhhheeeeefffff!"
__________________
http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/foru...1f7d5496b4.jpg Mods done: Towbar - EGR replaced with SS straight pipe - Synergy 2 - Aircon resistor replaced with JMA - Walnut and Leather Steering Wheel - Walnut Hand Brake and Walnut Auto Gear Stick - Walnut Dash - Sean's DD Unit with DVBT - 2.0 CDT Torpedos - Boot Badge and mk1 Chrome Plinth - D Pillars - Union Alloys - X-Power Upgrade Slowly adding pre project bits and bobs |
4th April 2012, 10:48 | #5 |
Gets stuck in
75 Connie Auto CDTi SE Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 923
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Sorry really cannot resist this one
Two Welshmen were rounding up their sheep when one of the ewes suddenly ran into a fence and got it's head stuck. The two men ran over to the fence and one of them said to the other, "Hey, boyo, this is too good an opportunity to pass up!" The man unzipped his trousers, yanked out his tool and had sex with the ewe for ten minutes. After he finished he looked at his friend and said, "That was ****** marvellous, mate. D'you fancy a go then?" "****** right I do!" replied the other man, as he unzipped his trousers and stuck his head through the fence.
__________________
http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/foru...1f7d5496b4.jpg Mods done: Towbar - EGR replaced with SS straight pipe - Synergy 2 - Aircon resistor replaced with JMA - Walnut and Leather Steering Wheel - Walnut Hand Brake and Walnut Auto Gear Stick - Walnut Dash - Sean's DD Unit with DVBT - 2.0 CDT Torpedos - Boot Badge and mk1 Chrome Plinth - D Pillars - Union Alloys - X-Power Upgrade Slowly adding pre project bits and bobs |
4th April 2012, 10:57 | #6 |
Gets stuck in
75 Connie Auto CDTi SE Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 923
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Oh and here is a good scouse one to show no hard feelings
Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!" And a quick one Police cordoned off Liverpool city centre this morning when a suspicious object was found in a car. It later turned out to be a tax disk.
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http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/foru...1f7d5496b4.jpg Mods done: Towbar - EGR replaced with SS straight pipe - Synergy 2 - Aircon resistor replaced with JMA - Walnut and Leather Steering Wheel - Walnut Hand Brake and Walnut Auto Gear Stick - Walnut Dash - Sean's DD Unit with DVBT - 2.0 CDT Torpedos - Boot Badge and mk1 Chrome Plinth - D Pillars - Union Alloys - X-Power Upgrade Slowly adding pre project bits and bobs Last edited by Canon; 4th April 2012 at 11:00.. |
4th April 2012, 11:35 | #7 |
This is my second home
75 model car Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
Posts: 20,169
Thanks: 4,008
Thanked 5,083 Times in 3,114 Posts
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Absolute class those were Tony
__________________
Cheers. Rich… |
4th April 2012, 12:06 | #8 |
Posted a thing or two
MG6 Magnette 1.8 Tci SE Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Shrewsbury
Posts: 1,300
Thanks: 19
Thanked 27 Times in 27 Posts
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What is the most confusing day in Liverpool ? - Fathers Day
What do you call a Scouse girl in a white tracksuit - the bride |
4th April 2012, 12:26 | #9 |
Banned
Rover 75 Tourer CDT Connoisseur SE Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Newport
Posts: 1,906
Thanks: 107
Thanked 299 Times in 206 Posts
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OMG what have I started?
What do you call a scouser in a suit? The accused. |
4th April 2012, 12:48 | #10 |
Passed Away
75 contemporary se cdti Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 1,579
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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What do ya call a scouser at university?
the caretaker! Eric |
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