This is just for fun so tell your stories here .

[FLYER]

Lets have your stories about the funniest think you have seen in your travels abroad .

I will kick it off with what was without a doubt the most hilarious situation i ever saw abroad.

In the 90s i was on holiday in Paphos and took advantage of a mini cruise to Israel and Egypt .
One of the visits was to the Cairo Museum (king Tut and all that).

Now there were signs everywhere saying NO PHOTOGRAPHY.

I noticed that every hall had two guards in uniform and wearing bright red Fez,s.

They also had a four foot long cane which at the time puzzled me .

Now as you know peoole dont read notices or in any case pay any attention to them so every now and then a tourist would produce a camera and take a snap of an exhibit.

At this point these guards would walk over to them and WHACK them with the cane.

I have to say i nearly wet myself at this because the punter would argue with the guard and recieve another WHACK for their trouble.

This went on in every hall and i could,nt stop laughing as i knew it was coming .

Without a doubt the funniest thing ive ever seen .

So come on lets have your tales .

[Lordy]

Originally Posted by FLYER

Lets have your stories about the funniest think you have seen in your travels abroad .

I will kick it off with what was without a doubt the most hilarious situation i ever saw abroad.

In the 90s i was on holiday in Paphos and took advantage of a mini cruise to Israel and Egypt .
One of the visits was to the Cairo Museum (king Tut and all that).

Now there were signs everywhere saying NO PHOTOGRAPHY.

I noticed that every hall had two guards in uniform and wearing bright red Fez,s.

They also had a four foot long cane which at the time puzzled me .

Now as you know peoole dont read notices or in any case pay any attention to them so every now and then a tourist would produce a camera and take a snap of an exhibit.

At this point these guards would walk over to them and WHACK them with the cane.

I have to say i nearly wet myself at this because the punter would argue with the guard and recieve another WHACK for their trouble.

This went on in every hall and i could,nt stop laughing as i knew it was coming .

Without a doubt the funniest thing ive ever seen .

So come on lets have your tales .

That's a good one George.

[coolcat]

Originally Posted by FLYER

Lets have your stories about the funniest think you have seen in your travels abroad .

I will kick it off with what was without a doubt the most hilarious situation i ever saw abroad.

In the 90s i was on holiday in Paphos and took advantage of a mini cruise to Israel and Egypt .
One of the visits was to the Cairo Museum (king Tut and all that).

Now there were signs everywhere saying NO PHOTOGRAPHY.

I noticed that every hall had two guards in uniform and wearing bright red Fez,s.

They also had a four foot long cane which at the time puzzled me .

Now as you know peoole dont read notices or in any case pay any attention to them so every now and then a tourist would produce a camera and take a snap of an exhibit.

At this point these guards would walk over to them and WHACK them with the cane.

I have to say i nearly wet myself at this because the punter would argue with the guard and recieve another WHACK for their trouble.

This went on in every hall and i could,nt stop laughing as i knew it was coming .

Without a doubt the funniest thing ive ever seen .

So come on lets have your tales .

I think that I May have to take a visit to that museum.........a free spanking sounds good to me

[FLYER]

Originally Posted by coolcat

I think that I May have to take a visit to that museum.........a free spanking sounds good to me

I would,nt recommend that part of the world just now Jeff.

Even to a masochist like you.

Your head wont look right stuck on a railing.

[coolcat]

Originally Posted by FLYER

I would,nt recommend that part of the world just now Jeff.

Even to a masochist like you.

Your head wont look right stuck on a railing.

Don't look much better stuck on my body

[FLYER]

Originally Posted by coolcat

Don't look much better stuck on my body

I do not want to see you in an orange boiler suit Jeff.

Your wardrobe is dire enough as it is .

[coolcat]

Many years ago when I was in my early twenties I worked for a security company for a while.

We used to have static guard sites and also mobile night time patrols of our local business parks and industrial estates.

One evening we were out on patrol with my friend/work colleague Les and we had Leo the German Shepherd dog in the back of the van.

We were doing the rattle checks at around 02.00am on the industrial estate when my guts got the better of me and I had to take a dump, if memory serves me it was a kebab that came back to bite

There was a bit of scrub land round the back of some of the units and I took the opportunity!

Meanwhile Les decided it would be a good idea to let Leo out and get some exercise.......

This proved to be a bad idea......I had evacuated in the bush and just stood up when Leo came bounding over to greet me, saw the contents I had deposited and took a great big chunk in one big bite out of it

Steam started pouring out of it and the full aroma hit us......!

Les grabbed hold of Leo and put his lead on and dragged him back to the van before he could consume any more

We all got back to the van and Leo was panting and his breath was something to behold

Happy Days

Edit.....missed the bit about it being on your travels!

[FLYER]

Originally Posted by coolcat

Many years ago when I was in my early twenties I worked for a security company for a while.

We used to have static guard sites and also mobile night time patrols of our local business parks and industrial estates.

One evening we were out on patrol with my friend/work colleague Les and we had Leo the German Shepherd dog in the back of the van.

We were doing the rattle checks at around 02.00am on the industrial estate when my guts got the better of me and I had to take a dump, if memory serves me it was a kebab that came back to bite

There was a bit of scrub land round the back of some of the units and I took the opportunity!

Meanwhile Les decided it would be a good idea to let Leo out and get some exercise.......

This proved to be a bad idea......I had evacuated in the bush and just stood up when Leo came bounding over to greet me, saw the contents I had deposited and took a great big chunk in one big bite out of it

Steam started pouring out of it and the full aroma hit us......!

Les grabbed hold of Leo and put his lead on and dragged him back to the van before he could consume any more

We all got back to the van and Leo was panting and his breath was something to behold

Happy Days

Edit.....missed the bit about it being on your travels!

well what can i say.


Apart from missing the theme of the thread Jeff it was a funny story .

However mate my sympathy is with that poor mutt.

[coolcat]

Originally Posted by FLYER

well what can i say.


Apart from missing the theme of the thread Jeff it was a funny story .

However mate my sympathy is with that poor mutt.

I have another story with my mate Les that does sort of involve foreign travels

I'll tell you it when Strictly has finished

[Gate Keeper]

I went to Star Bucks in departures for an Americano, whilst waiting to catch an early morning flight from Nairobi to London. A group of Somalian tribesmen had sat themselves at the table, directly behind me.

Well George, it just happened when my flight was called, I stood up to go. I couldn't help it. A big sneeze and a very loud sprout wind just ripped out of me at the same time. How embarrassing

As I sheepishly looked back to say sorry, one of them waved his clenched fist at me shouting "Good One - so natural"....they had a good laugh as I made my exit, he said, the "best ever". A true story