You are never prepared

Dallas · 7th March 2017, 12:23

My father is an extremely strong and stubborn man who doesn't like doctors or hospitals. He is aged 68 and doesn't smoke or drink, he gave that up over 40 years ago. He has been a builder all his life and has never taken a sick day in 50 years, he is known as the man who does the work on ten men, always worked 6/7 day weeks including Saturdays and Sundays in all weather mother nature brings.

His health has deteriorated somewhat over the past 10 years, but he refuses to go and get checked out. Well! Two weeks ago we nearly lost him, its still touch and go at the moment, he is now currently in Hospital suffering from heart failure (his heart output was just 5-14%). His heart has swollen and currently suffering Atrial Fibrillation, his legs and feet have swollen, his liver and kidneys are failing, but still he is actually getting better as each day goes by.

Two weeks ago I was called in by the doctor to be told he may only last a few days, and that we should think about making his last few days as comfortable as possible. We are now 3 weeks on and he has made a rapid recovery and there is now talk about sending him home, my mother is over the moon as you can imagine.

These past three weeks I haven't slept that well as I have been worried about my mother as she is not in the best of health herself, so I have been doing everything for her just as my father would have been doing. I refused to believe what the doctor's were telling us about my father not having long to live, I actually switched off. I said to the doctor at one point that she doesn't know my father, and that she better be ready for a miracle, that my father will surprise her and beat those odds that were against him (she is now somewhat amazed and so very happy to see him doing so well).

He is still not out of the woods yet though, he will need a lot of aftercare, plus a strict diet and plenty of medication to keep his body working as best it can (he will only be allowed to drink 2 litres of fluid each day). The strong willed nature he is famous for has got him through these past few weeks, his powerful will and drive is simply amazing to see, the doctors and nurses cannot believe how well he has recovered and made it this far.

The NHS doctors and nurses have simply been amazing, they are doing a superb job looking after my father, they've gone far beyond what is expected of them. It was very difficult at first as no one new what the problem was due to my father being so strong, we were being told all sorts of devastating scenarios. Sadly my father's GP has not been consistent with the correct care, if I hadn't taken my father down to his GP's practice and demanded some help, I doubt my father would be with us today (the hospital doctor's have already confirmed this).

Hopeful now my father is on the road to recovery, the doctors have said there is no reason why my father cannot live for months, even years as long as he behaves himself and receives the correct help and support. They say there is no operation that will benefit him as his heart is simply worn-out (damaged), and that he will need a lot of medication, you wouldn't believe this though to look at him. We seem to look at our parents and think they will be here forever, that they are invincible, you simply dont realise that they are getting old and may not be around forever, well I did...

Just a note to us all, please please please look after yourselves and your loved ones. Life is too short and can be so cruel, you don't know what is around the corner, let us all be good to one another and enjoy a happy and healthy life for a very long time to come.

planenut · 7th March 2017, 12:53

Best wishes to you all as you come to terms with actually changing the way your Dad was, and trying to persuade him to change. Enjoy what you have.

coolcat · 7th March 2017, 12:53

Scary stuff, sounds like he has received the best of treatment from the health care staff.

Wishing your Dad a full and speedy recovery Wes.

Organiser · 7th March 2017, 13:06

Hi Wes,

Sorry to read this about your dad, you will have to be strong now for him and make sure that he does what he is told, yes, I know not easy? I hope that everything goes well for him and your mother and yourself!

Best wishes.

Tom.

Dallas · 7th March 2017, 13:11

Thanks fellas, it just goes to show even if you do all the right things by giving up smoking and drinking at an early age in ones prime, you still have to be careful not to work yourself into the ground as it were. This is something my father has done it would seem, hard work is also a killer as many a builder will tell you, it does take its toll on the body.

Rían P · 7th March 2017, 13:18

Hi Wes,
Good to see that your Dad is coming ok after what seems quite an ordeal.

I think you've made a very good point there. You always feel that things just stay the same and nothing will change. But unfortunately, time marches on doesn't.

Take it easy and best wishes to your family.

Rooney · 7th March 2017, 13:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas

Two weeks ago I was called in by the doctor to be told he may only last a few days, and that we should think about making his last few days as comfortable as possible.

Just by way of reassurance - my dad was told the same, refused to submit, recovered, then lived for a further fourteen years before we lost him.

I'll say a wee prayer for your dad, and for you and your mum

patrolman pete · 7th March 2017, 13:48

A good few years ago my Grandmother was taken into hospital after becoming very weak and was diagnosed as having endocarditis caused by a virus attacking the valves in her heart. Due to her age (88) they couldn't risk replacing the valves as she wouldn't survive the operation. All they could do was keep flushing her system with antibiotics but we were taken to one side and told a piece of valve could break away and death would be sudden. We were broken hearted and my Grandfather literally fell apart. The treatment actually went on for 6 weeks and she was eventually sent home in good health ! She knew she had to survive for my Grandfather who was by now showing signs of vascular dementia which took his life a year later. My Grandmother eventually passed away from old age at 91 , her heart beating to the very end. Her will to survive is what kept her going and I believe she left us when she decided, as her last words to me were '' Peter, I've had enough of all this rubbish''

Tell your Dad to stay ruddy minded and prove the Doctors that they can thankfully be wrong.

FLYING BANANA · 7th March 2017, 13:56

Best wishes to your Dad and I wish him a speedy recovery. And best wishes to your Mum.

lady zed · 7th March 2017, 14:08

My dad also suffered from heart failure a good few years before his heart finally finshed him off. And no, you're never ready, however you could have many years with him Wes, I'll be keeping your parents in my thoughts xxx

7th March 2017, 12:23	#1
Dallas This is my second home 1979 Capri 1.6L, 1982 Capri 1.6L, 2016 Dacia Stepway Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 8,595 Thanks: 3,496 Thanked 3,397 Times in 2,218 Posts	You are never prepared My father is an extremely strong and stubborn man who doesn't like doctors or hospitals. He is aged 68 and doesn't smoke or drink, he gave that up over 40 years ago. He has been a builder all his life and has never taken a sick day in 50 years, he is known as the man who does the work on ten men, always worked 6/7 day weeks including Saturdays and Sundays in all weather mother nature brings. His health has deteriorated somewhat over the past 10 years, but he refuses to go and get checked out. Well! Two weeks ago we nearly lost him, its still touch and go at the moment, he is now currently in Hospital suffering from heart failure (his heart output was just 5-14%). His heart has swollen and currently suffering Atrial Fibrillation, his legs and feet have swollen, his liver and kidneys are failing, but still he is actually getting better as each day goes by. Two weeks ago I was called in by the doctor to be told he may only last a few days, and that we should think about making his last few days as comfortable as possible. We are now 3 weeks on and he has made a rapid recovery and there is now talk about sending him home, my mother is over the moon as you can imagine. These past three weeks I haven't slept that well as I have been worried about my mother as she is not in the best of health herself, so I have been doing everything for her just as my father would have been doing. I refused to believe what the doctor's were telling us about my father not having long to live, I actually switched off. I said to the doctor at one point that she doesn't know my father, and that she better be ready for a miracle, that my father will surprise her and beat those odds that were against him (she is now somewhat amazed and so very happy to see him doing so well). He is still not out of the woods yet though, he will need a lot of aftercare, plus a strict diet and plenty of medication to keep his body working as best it can (he will only be allowed to drink 2 litres of fluid each day). The strong willed nature he is famous for has got him through these past few weeks, his powerful will and drive is simply amazing to see, the doctors and nurses cannot believe how well he has recovered and made it this far. The NHS doctors and nurses have simply been amazing, they are doing a superb job looking after my father, they've gone far beyond what is expected of them. It was very difficult at first as no one new what the problem was due to my father being so strong, we were being told all sorts of devastating scenarios. Sadly my father's GP has not been consistent with the correct care, if I hadn't taken my father down to his GP's practice and demanded some help, I doubt my father would be with us today (the hospital doctor's have already confirmed this). Hopeful now my father is on the road to recovery, the doctors have said there is no reason why my father cannot live for months, even years as long as he behaves himself and receives the correct help and support. They say there is no operation that will benefit him as his heart is simply worn-out (damaged), and that he will need a lot of medication, you wouldn't believe this though to look at him. We seem to look at our parents and think they will be here forever, that they are invincible, you simply dont realise that they are getting old and may not be around forever, well I did... Just a note to us all, please please please look after yourselves and your loved ones. Life is too short and can be so cruel, you don't know what is around the corner, let us all be good to one another and enjoy a happy and healthy life for a very long time to come. Last edited by Dallas; 7th March 2017 at 12:37..

7th March 2017, 12:53	#3
coolcat This is my second home Audi Q3 TDI S-Line Quattro Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Clacton On Sea/On the boat somewhere Posts: 51,149 Thanks: 9,890 Thanked 12,235 Times in 8,232 Posts	Scary stuff, sounds like he has received the best of treatment from the health care staff. Wishing your Dad a full and speedy recovery Wes. __________________ Jeff.

7th March 2017, 13:06	#4
Organiser I really should get out more....... ZT-T+180 Auto & ZT-T+1.8T in Trophy Blue, ZT-T CDTI+135 Auto in Ignition Blue, ZT-T+190 in Typhoon, Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Walsall Posts: 2,035 Thanks: 1,435 Thanked 600 Times in 467 Posts	Hi Wes, Sorry to read this about your dad, you will have to be strong now for him and make sure that he does what he is told, yes, I know not easy? I hope that everything goes well for him and your mother and yourself! Best wishes. Tom. __________________ Remember a Typhoon is for life not just Christmas! Now plus the Yellow Peril.

7th March 2017, 13:56	#9
FLYING BANANA Moderator/Club Shop MG ZT 1.8t+. No.3 of 4 in Sunspot Yellow & Ford Fiesta in Black. Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Rattler Farm Posts: 22,560 Thanks: 9,270 Thanked 15,645 Times in 6,806 Posts	Best wishes to your Dad and I wish him a speedy recovery. And best wishes to your Mum. __________________ 233,431. That’s our second meet done, no.3 next weekend. onen hag oll

7th March 2017, 14:08	#10
lady zed This is my second home Rover 75 Saloon Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: On the edge Posts: 6,659 Thanks: 1,354 Thanked 1,210 Times in 716 Posts	My dad also suffered from heart failure a good few years before his heart finally finshed him off. And no, you're never ready, however you could have many years with him Wes, I'll be keeping your parents in my thoughts xxx __________________ it's all about the first person you want to tell good news to

7th March 2017, 12:53	#2
planenut Regional Secretary Rover 1.8T Tourer Join Date: May 2007 Location: Heathrow Posts: 6,954 Thanks: 1,551 Thanked 2,036 Times in 1,264 Posts	Best wishes to you all as you come to terms with actually changing the way your Dad was, and trying to persuade him to change. Enjoy what you have.

7th March 2017, 13:11	#5
Dallas This is my second home 1979 Capri 1.6L, 1982 Capri 1.6L, 2016 Dacia Stepway Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 8,595 Thanks: 3,496 Thanked 3,397 Times in 2,218 Posts	Thanks fellas, it just goes to show even if you do all the right things by giving up smoking and drinking at an early age in ones prime, you still have to be careful not to work yourself into the ground as it were. This is something my father has done it would seem, hard work is also a killer as many a builder will tell you, it does take its toll on the body.

7th March 2017, 13:18	#6
Rían P Regular poster Rover 75 Saloon Join Date: Jan 2017 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 74 Thanks: 76 Thanked 20 Times in 20 Posts	Hi Wes, Good to see that your Dad is coming ok after what seems quite an ordeal. I think you've made a very good point there. You always feel that things just stay the same and nothing will change. But unfortunately, time marches on doesn't. Take it easy and best wishes to your family.

7th March 2017, 13:48	#8
patrolman pete Posted a thing or two Rover 75 club se tourer CDT and a Connoisseur SE Diesel Auto Saloon Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Houghton - le - Spring Posts: 1,418 Thanks: 618 Thanked 333 Times in 197 Posts	A good few years ago my Grandmother was taken into hospital after becoming very weak and was diagnosed as having endocarditis caused by a virus attacking the valves in her heart. Due to her age (88) they couldn't risk replacing the valves as she wouldn't survive the operation. All they could do was keep flushing her system with antibiotics but we were taken to one side and told a piece of valve could break away and death would be sudden. We were broken hearted and my Grandfather literally fell apart. The treatment actually went on for 6 weeks and she was eventually sent home in good health ! She knew she had to survive for my Grandfather who was by now showing signs of vascular dementia which took his life a year later. My Grandmother eventually passed away from old age at 91 , her heart beating to the very end. Her will to survive is what kept her going and I believe she left us when she decided, as her last words to me were '' Peter, I've had enough of all this rubbish'' Tell your Dad to stay ruddy minded and prove the Doctors that they can thankfully be wrong.