Brum's Joke Book - Page 12

brum29 · 14th May 2008, 21:13

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Birmingham."

And they say blondes are dumb...

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:05

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:17

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:19

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:27

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:47

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 20:52

brum29 · 15th May 2008, 21:01

The "illusion" is that this is just a picture of coffee beans; but it is not. Can you find a man's face among the beans? Some say that if you find the man in 3 seconds or less, the right half of your brain may be more well developed than most
This is NOT a Trick

brum29 · 16th May 2008, 19:42

Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.
"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"
"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.
"I think you're bad luck."

brum29 · 16th May 2008, 19:55

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

14th May 2008, 21:13	#111
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Housework Callenged................. One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Birmingham." And they say blondes are dumb...

15th May 2008, 20:05	#112
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	The Lost Puppy

15th May 2008, 20:17	#113
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Tastes Funny..................

15th May 2008, 20:19	#114
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Online Honesty................

15th May 2008, 20:27	#115
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Why did the chicken................

15th May 2008, 20:47	#116
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Wall of Jesus...............

15th May 2008, 20:52	#117
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	11 Faces..............

15th May 2008, 21:01	#118
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Coffee Face The "illusion" is that this is just a picture of coffee beans; but it is not. Can you find a man's face among the beans? Some say that if you find the man in 3 seconds or less, the right half of your brain may be more well developed than most This is NOT a Trick

16th May 2008, 19:42	#119
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Loyal Wife............... Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him. "You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?" "What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself. "I think you're bad luck."

16th May 2008, 19:55	#120
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	For the Engineers................ What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."