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Old 21st January 2019, 22:18   #11
topman
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Take the holiday, they'll manage they're adults now. Plenty of people have lived in houses while doing them up. It's not ideal but they'll be fine.
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Old 21st January 2019, 22:23   #12
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What would you lose financially if you cancelled your holiday Ian?

As someone who gave up time between Christmas and New Year (last year 17/18) to put in a new bathroom suite and then help tile it - I know how important it is to help the kids out.

Remember that what goes around comes around - my Dad helped me, then I helped him when he needed it.

But even so - losing a substantial deposit would not be wise. Something I am sure they would understand.
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Old 22nd January 2019, 00:30   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macafee2 View Post
our daughter is moving house and new house needs decorating.
Neither her or her husband want to live in a mess so are thinking of keeping the house they have, while they decorate but cant pay two mortgages for too long.
Assuming "decorating" means paint/paper/carpets/curtains, tell them to get on with it and send them a postcard. Not "wanting to live in a mess" sounds like a preference. Nobody died from living with somebody else's paisley-patterened carpet and stripey wallpaper for a few weeks, so why should you have to give up your holiday for their preference?

Let's face it, if they're moving house then everything's going to be in boxes anyway: just unpack the essentials and chuck dust sheets over the rest, or put the bulk of it in storage short term.

Sorry to sound harsh
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Old 22nd January 2019, 05:32   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macafee2 View Post
our daughter is moving house and new house needs decorating.
Neither her or her husband want to live in a mess so are thinking of keeping the house they have, while they decorate but cant pay two mortgages for too long.

At the time they hope to get the keys to the other house we are on holiday.

what's the right thing?
1 take our holiday and help them when we can
2 cancel our holiday and spend time helping them

we have other holidays booked or planned

we would like to do both but wife just does not have enough holiday time

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Ask yourself what your Daughter would do if you asked her the same question.
I suspect in most cases they would go on holiday and possibly help later.

Hope this helps
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Old 22nd January 2019, 06:24   #15
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Show them a painting brush, describe how it works, do the same with a screwdriver and hammer. Wish them well and go off on your holiday and relax and enjoy yourself remembering that when you get back you can get stuck in and help them as and when you wish. There adults they will figure it out..
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Old 22nd January 2019, 06:57   #16
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Look at it this way, you're only going on holiday, if it's for a week or two and it's all done and dusted when you get back then it wasn't that big of a job. If when you return it's still ongoing then it's a bigger job and then you can pitch in and help.


Have they actually asked you to move the holiday or even hinted?
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Old 22nd January 2019, 08:00   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wullie480 View Post
What about sending your daughter and son in law on holiday whilst you decorate the full place for them coming home.

For me I’d probably help them decorate and move the holiday if possible.
Could they not do it bit by bit when they’ve moved in?
I think I've been there and done that

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Old 22nd January 2019, 08:02   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darcydog View Post
What would you lose financially if you cancelled your holiday Ian?

As someone who gave up time between Christmas and New Year (last year 17/18) to put in a new bathroom suite and then help tile it - I know how important it is to help the kids out.

Remember that what goes around comes around - my Dad helped me, then I helped him when he needed it.

But even so - losing a substantial deposit would not be wise. Something I am sure they would understand.
would not lose any money.

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Old 22nd January 2019, 08:05   #19
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Originally Posted by stocktake View Post
Take the holiday, they will understand.

One life, live it. Nice to help your kids when you can and when the chips are down we would all sacrifice whatever was needed for our offspring but think about it. Decorating!! Really!! Because they don't want to rough it for a short while. Sorry if that part sounds harsh but its real life

Sometimes you need to put yourself first. it's not a guilt trip its something you are looking forward to and if you cancel then it will be them who should feel guilty.

If you find this unbearable, (But you shouldn't) offer to help with the extra payments if they are struggling.

I am opposed to being the bank of mum and dad but have become that bank anyway. Even helping my sister out and for me wife any wife, that is above and beyond the call of duty but she stands shoulder to shoulder with me and does not bat an eye lid. Damn she's one good woman

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Old 22nd January 2019, 20:52   #20
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Oooo, damned if you do and damned if you don't scenareo, I've been there a couple of times with my two eldest. If your holiday was booked prior to the house exchange then take your holiday and help them out when you get back, I'm sure they can appreciate that, tell them you will be more than happy to help them after your holiday.
Many people work with what they have for the short term and half the fun of a new house is being able to see it develop as you do the jobs one by one, they may not see it now but somewhere down the line they will really appreciate the effort they put in and the end result will justify the short term inconvenience they experienced.
I helped my two eldest on numerous occasions with diy projects etc but they also knew I couldn't always be there on demand and so they had to 'rough it' a bit whilst the jobs were being sorted.
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