How long to wait to replace a partner

[mamasboy]

Don't think it's anyone else's business TBH. If it's right for both of you and not causing extended family heartache (you seem like the type of guy to take this into account already) then do what's good for you, you've been loyal and caring and now it's time to live, it's what I'd want if my wife had cared for me when I needed it!

[Neil1]

Grab her by both hands Harry and don't let her go!

There is no such thing as a right or wrong time, it's when you feel comfortable and not what others think.

It's time to start living your life again and it seems you have found the right person to do this with.

All the best to you Harry and long may it continue.

[Leyland Worldmaster]

Sounds like the way someone would talk about replacing a car! As we're talking about human beings; probably better to use more sensitive language... A person cannot be replaced! Otherwise we'd have people built to special order; a tick box designer human being...

I don't claim to know a massive amount about relationships; it is abundantly clear that a loving relationship is truly beautiful; no logic; numbers; requirements; conditions make a loving relationship. And that counts for various loving relationships; friends; family and pets.

When a tragic loss or split happens, I don't believe one can replace this. One has to move on.
Not replace! That logic is best applied to material belongings; not your beloved.

I lost my best friend nearly two years ago. He can never be replaced! My memories are precious.

Find someone new, good luck! Replacing a human being is impossible; to me that shows an inability to move on; I would hazard a guess that you haven't really recovered from the loss of your wife.

Once you have done this, you will be free and you will find love.

Well, that's my rather long-winded opinion.

Good luck for the future.

[HarryM1BYT]

Originally Posted by Leyland Worldmaster

Sounds like the way someone would talk about replacing a car! As we're talking about human beings; probably better to use more sensitive language... A person cannot be replaced! Otherwise we'd have people built to special order; a tick box designer human being...

Find someone new, good luck! Replacing a human being is impossible; to me that shows an inability to move on; I would hazard a guess that you haven't really recovered from the loss of your wife.

Yes, it did sound a bit insensitive, but I was struggling to keep the subject line short - it was not my intention.

Nor could I think of a better way to put it in the text - you are right, I really could never replace her exactly, she was very much an individual, but then so is my new partner.

It will be equally hard for my new partner, moving into my home once run by my recent partner. Luckily (and I did ask her) she doesn't mind me mentioning my late partner at all, because the subject by necessity comes up so regularly. Difficult for her to ignore a stair lift and a mobility scooter in the hut anyway. Her plans to redecorate throughout, will help her make it her own though.

[hamster19]

You decide, and keep us posted, and good luck

[wraymond]

Harry, I’ve not posted any comments on this subject for fear of hitting the wrong note, it’s a delicate subject and I’m not famous for tact!

Your invitation for comments about the latest development though gave me pause for thought about my own circumstances and I must say I am horrified to think of anything that might separate me from my darling Celia. Married and still deeply loving for well over 50 years is something I personally wouldn’t even want to ‘get over’ or ‘move on’. I would simply live the rest of my allotted time in retrospect and reverie about our joyous life together and celebrate the oneness we had until my turn to cast off.

I suspect you may be seeking approval or support from friends on here with which to strengthen your own resolve, and even maybe the merest inkling of uncertainty there might be lurking. I hope you achieved the encouragement you seem to be after and I hope it is a success, but only you can come to that point – you know your own mind best. Good luck, and don’t burn any bridges.

[FLYING BANANA]

Your life. Your business. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[olliesgrandad]

Good luck to you both. ! Its got nothing to do with anyone else. You only get one life. Enjoy it

[TR75]

Harry, I am so pleased for you.

We had a good chat a couple of months ago on the phone about where things lie and I am delighted to hear you've finally found someone that you feel you can share the rest of your life with.

Let life's journey take its course - none of us are here for ever; if it's right in your heart, follow it.

Carpe Diem.

[HarryM1BYT]

Originally Posted by wraymond

Your invitation for comments about the latest development though gave me pause for thought about my own circumstances and I must say I am horrified to think of anything that might separate me from my darling Celia. Married and still deeply loving for well over 50 years is something I personally wouldn’t even want to ‘get over’ or ‘move on’. I would simply live the rest of my allotted time in retrospect and reverie about our joyous life together and celebrate the oneness we had until my turn to cast off.

I suspect you may be seeking approval or support from friends on here with which to strengthen your own resolve, and even maybe the merest inkling of uncertainty there might be lurking. I hope you achieved the encouragement you seem to be after and I hope it is a success, but only you can come to that point – you know your own mind best. Good luck, and don’t burn any bridges.

Well, I could not sit around mourning for ever more, as you seem to suggest you would. Faced with no choice in the matter - I would end up topping myself, unable to lead the rest of my life in loneliness.

Those confirmed bachelor friends I do have, say its great, complete freedom and all that, but sorry - really not for me, not now. They are not very convincing anyway and I rather suspect they all struggle to find a relationship, rather than don't want to be in one.

My late partner married young and her new husband was tragically died in a car accident just a few weeks later. She then remarried, which ended in a divorce after around 10 years, then along I came. She was my first live in partner and I was with her 3.5x as long as her previous longest partner had done and was the one who ended up having to support her to the end, which I did faithfully and to the best of my ability, despite the issues.

I doubt she would object to my finding myself another partner, just as she had done. She might though have been surprised (as was I) that I had it in me to move on as quickly as I in fact managed to do.

No I really wasn't seeking any approval at all. Approval or disapproval wouldn't make the slightest difference to me or my/our plans. I was simply seeking the groups opinion, after some females seemed of the opinion to I ought to have waited much longer.