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1st November 2006, 11:46 | #1 |
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Cat Diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again). DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan . DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. |
3rd November 2006, 11:28 | #2 |
This is my second home
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Amazing whilst reading that there was a flurry of activity down stairs
Spotty dog is in full Gait after next doors moggy across the field. Cat is losing Cat is definitely losing Spotty dog has gone up a gear Cat is not going to make it Coward, Cats have Vertical take off! Spotty dog is confused Cat is relieved Next time it may be different, next doors cat needs to learn to run faster |
3rd November 2006, 17:04 | #3 |
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Mick - you must have one of my cats' diaries (1 out of 5), he did the exact sequence of events listed in the diary, please send it back, I need it as evidence ....
__________________
Christopher in banana veritas |
3rd November 2006, 17:13 | #4 |
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5th November 2006, 12:49 | #5 |
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How did you make that diary?
i like it very much I'm keith's son. I just started. |
5th November 2006, 14:42 | #6 |
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