My adventful Easter!

[kaiser]

This has been an Easter that I could easily improve on!

A friend of mine phoned in a state of despair. He has an immaculate Rover V6 with 327000 km on the clock, but it had overheated twice, and he was feeling desperate. That was on Thursday.
If I would please, please fit a new thermostat and check the oil leak for him. Against my better judgement, I agreed to do the job, and thought I would charge him 8 hours of labour. This is not my normal work, and I thought that should be sufficient.

So firstly I phone a friend in the trade to see if he has inlet manifold gaskets. He has, and he gives them to me at a bargain price, 2.5 Pounds!
When I fetch them I am quite surprised to see two metal gaskets!! with a ridge around all the critical parts, like the old 3.5 Rover V8 metal head gaskets. WOW, I think, this looks good, because there are issues with the original gaskets, they ALWAYS leak from the water to the inlet, and I really liked this idea!!
Anyway, hasting back, I start on the car. I take the plastic manifold off, and take the two inlet manifolds off. Sure enough, the water has penetrated from the water to the outer inlets both front and back. Good for metal gaskets!

The thermostat and the plastic pipes come off without any problems. The thermostat looks OK, but I don't even test it, as I am going to replace it in any case.

I quickly fit a metal set, and get three new hose clamps to fasten all the hoses. After that I fit the new metal gaskets and assemble the whole lot. Amazingly, after about 4 hours of work, I think I am on a home run, nothing has broken and everything goes together with plump and circumstance.

I think this is a bit too easy, and boy oh boy, was I right!!!

All together, I fit the last plugs, the fuel line and connect the battery.

A power on shows no fuel spill, and my hopes are right up under the clouds that are not even there, in the amazingly blue sky.!!

A quick turn of the key, and the car starts!
But it splurts and bubbles and does not go well at all, and the exhaust stinks.
I look a bit forlorn at this, and remember I have a similar situation some years ago, when I cleaned the inlet manifold with compressed air and blew the MAP sensor (they are very sensitive to over pressure, designed as they are to measure vacuum).
I quickly take a unit off my spare car and replace it. No improvement at all.
I check all the fittings and all else, and I notice a hiss near the base of the inlet manifold.
With a hose pipe I locate the hiss to the inlet manifolds! I tighten all the nuts on top and the bottom, and spray quick start at the part, which makes a big improvement. False air!
Off comes the plastic manifold, all the fittings and the inlet manifolds again.

I check the steel manifold gasket, and they look fine, except they are not compressed at the top! I fit them to the back of the aluminium inlet manifold, and the petrol channel grooved in the manifold does not get covered at the top! So when bolted in place, the gasket does not seal the total area!!
these gaskets are not from a Rover, but they must be from a KIA, I guess, total and utter failure!

Oh well, the 8 hours are now up, but this cannot take that long. My trusted Victor Reinz has never failed me, and new gaskets are not to be found for love or money, especially not during Easter.

So, repairing the broken and brittle oil suction pipes, T pieces and quick connectors!! I am cleaning all the surfaces and applying the Victor Reinz sealant with my usual expertise!!

But boy oh boy, it is not easy to get these manifolds in place without them slipping and possibly smearing the sealant. The main problem is the front bank, where the stainless carry over pipe for the fuel injection is impossible to fit, while trying to also lower the manifolds in place. So I decide to cut it, and join in with flexible pipe, which allows it to be bent and fitted after the manifolds are in place.
Easier said than done, first the pipe is a bit too short, then I loose an O ring, but after an hour I get it to fit, A couple of more O-rings, lost tools and general head wind, I am ready to start, and what happens?
The car farts and behaves much like before! I think the Victor Reinz must have been smeared and is not sealing, although I can't hear any hiss.

Off comes the lot. By now I am getting seriously miffed!!
Getting the manifolds off requires a bit of effort, the stuff certainly sticks!!
Off they come, I inspect all seals and they look ------ perfect!!!

By now I am starting to sweat, 12 hours spent and getting nowhere.

I go through my wife's stuff to find something to make seals out off. She has a sheet of silicone, used for baking. It withstands heat very well and I am just about to start cutting new seals out of this, when I decide to check suitability for oil and petrol.

That turns out to be not so good, and I don't want to take a chance with a car that's not mine.

I search my garages and my office, and find a sheet of green sealing material that I got off a friend some years ago. I phone him and he says, it works on the Rolls, and they also have water in the vicinity of the inlet!
So I check on the internet, and indeed, excellent resistance to oil, water and petrol!!

Tha thaaaa, Cutting and stamping a couple of hours later I have two new inlet manifold seals. And full of new found optimism, I assemble the hole lot again. Loosing my pocket knife into the engine bay necessitates removal of the undertray. Loosing bolts and O rings into the V, the fuel pipe sealing on the wrong side of the lock, petrol spraying all over, loosing the one plate fuel liner lock and having to steal one off my donor car, this is just not my day!
My son in law comes to check on me after some loud words to no-one in particular, and he obviously gets roped into helping! It is now about 1500, and daylight is starting to ebb slowly.
With his help we get the thing assembled, fill water check fuel and start.

Plup, plup, remm, plup, plup.

This is DEFFO not my day!! no leaks, no hiss all spark plugs on, no plug not connected, I check all wires, all hoses everything I can. No luck.

My heart is in the shoes, and my son in law starts pulling off the front spark plug leads and finds that cylinder one and three in front are not firing, and he swaps the leads,,,, and the thing purrs.

I can't believe my eyes!! the spark plugs are clearly marked 1 3 and 5, the lead are marked 1 3 and 5, the coils are supplied by a wiring loom that fits like 1, 3 and 5, and yet, the engine only runs properly when 1 goes to 3, 3 to 1 and 5 to 5!!

Who on earth would have thunk!!???

I owe my son in law one, without him I would have been on a quest for the rest of the week!

As I usually tell others, ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME.
And how right I was!

And for time? I guess 20 hours and a lot of worry, but now the car flies, doesn't overheat and the chap is happy, I hope.

I will never tell him the full story!

So how was your Easter?.

As for mine, I want a refund!!

[FLYING BANANA]

Great story, had me transfixed. Glad it all worked out in the end.

[planenut]

Amazing and I thought you were just egging us on?

[FLYER]

Has to be the longest thread/ post for ages .

[Rev Jules]

The moral of this story is never get involved unless you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing,

Rev Jules

[Catfish]

I am suddenly quite content with my Easter days this year

[Peter Garton]

A dreadful experience! However the blessing in diguise here is that you managed to get it completed in the one day and were not forced into a sleepless night brooding over the whole thing!!

[bl52krz]

Sorry to hear about your hectic Easter, but my Easter egg was lovely. Well done in the end though

[T-Cut]

So you corrected the labels, right?

TC