Good old Britain

lightpainter · 20th February 2007, 20:46

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmascracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with lit cigarettes in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls
incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

If you're proud to be British, God bless you!

Rich · 20th February 2007, 21:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightpainter

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

That is just SO true!

So true in fact, I wonder what percentage of the population it applies to?

An alarmingly high figure I'd guess

(myself included in that of course!)

Zeb · 20th February 2007, 22:56

Add this post to my post re paranoia and emigration looks like a damned good idea!

Rich · 20th February 2007, 23:03

No point, you'd end up in Japan watching TV shows made in Australia on a TV made in America while drinking in English themed pubs...

Zeb · 21st February 2007, 08:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rich

No point, you'd end up in Japan watching TV shows made in Australia on a TV made in America while drinking in English themed pubs...

Aaaaaaarrrrgh!:SHOCKED:

baxlin · 21st February 2007, 10:11

It'll just have to be the full English breakfast then-

Florida Orange juice

Danish Bacon

Spanish tomatoes

French Croissants

Brazilian Coffee, etc

20th February 2007, 20:46	#1
lightpainter Posted a thing or two 2004 Rover 75 Saloon 2.5 V6 Conn SE Auto Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Rainham, Kent. Garden of England Posts: 1,162 Thanks: 28 Thanked 42 Times in 6 Posts	Good old Britain Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION...3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmascracker-pulling accidents. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with lit cigarettes in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. And finally... In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. If you're proud to be British, God bless you! __________________ See my pictures here. My Flickr [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

20th February 2007, 23:03	#4
Rich Posted a thing or two http://Roadca.ms - Letting you see what they see! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Yup Posts: 1,786 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 1 Post	No point, you'd end up in Japan watching TV shows made in Australia on a TV made in America while drinking in English themed pubs... __________________ https://VehicleGPS.UK http://www.MotorwayCameras.co.uk

21st February 2007, 10:11	#6
baxlin This is my second home Volvo C70 Convertible and JZR 3 wheeler Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Tring, Herts Posts: 3,961 Thanks: 124 Thanked 173 Times in 124 Posts	It'll just have to be the full English breakfast then- Florida Orange juice Danish Bacon Spanish tomatoes French Croissants Brazilian Coffee, etc Last edited by baxlin; 21st February 2007 at 10:13..

20th February 2007, 22:56	#3
Zeb Banned MGZT V8 & ZTT 190+LPG Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,089 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Add this post to my post re paranoia and emigration looks like a damned good idea!