I took the thermostat out, I managed to get quickly a new thermostat, I tested it forst in boiling water, let it cool down to see if it seals properly
The 1st one didn't;t close properly, so indeed by default always a bit open, so temp only got up to 57 degrees C.
I put the new thermostat in, let the engine idle for 30-35 minutes on the driveway (it's 4 degrees here now), and then it got up to stable 84 degrees.
I bled the full expansion tank back to max level and took it for a drive : temp between 75-83 degrees while driving, nice temperature through the vents now as well.
Temp gauge shows nicely at 9 o'clock mark now
Thanks all for the good advice !
Lesson learnt : a new thermostat does not perfectly by default