[FLYING BANANA]

Wife : Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today?
Husband : First make it, we will name it later

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop :
Dear google, please do not behave like my wife..
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

A married man's prayer :
Dear God, You gave me childhood, You took it away
You gave me youth, You took it away.
You gave me a wife ... Its been years now, just reminding You.

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home?"
Husband answers: "Because he's thinking of getting married"

Employee : Sir, You are like a lion in the office! What about at home ???
Boss : I am a lion at home too, But there we have a lion tamer !!!

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife : honey ... you say prayer before eating at home
Husband : that's at home sweetheart ... here the chef knows how to cook.

Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"