Showering Comparisons
 

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN.
Take clothes off and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Wash your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it`s clean
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.. shave armpits and legs.
Turn the shower off.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
if you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN.
Take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your partner along the way, shake you w***y at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your w***y and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
F**t and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck to the soap.
Make a Shampoo Mohican.
Pee in the shower.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on the floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire w***y size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, Wet mat on the floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waste.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake w***y at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.

Lol so true