Leyland Doctors Surgery
 

Quick starter for all ailments, injuries, diseases and general sickness as LCOZ is being bombarded with illness at the minute.

All broken bones, decrepit joints, sore bits and rashes welcome:D

Also if you are a witch doctor, shamen, nurse or actual doctor please feel free to apply for a position with us here:D

Didn't think I'd be the first reply:duh: Our Amelia has just pushed her 2 front teeth back by falling up the stairs, I can't believe she made it through a full day on a bouncy castle and hurt herself after it was gone.

We are a sick bunch right enough ..

I've got a poisoned foot now .:duh:

Don't suppose this is any good anymore, either.---:eek:

Oh not you as well! :eek:

Does it look like this then George ?????:p:

Not yet but its getting there .:eek:

Its like Holby city in the LCOZ.:duh:

Bless :eek:

I advise the wire brush and dettol for the foot George:eek::getmecoat:

Bragging again - I've only got a poisoned 6" :getmecoat:

Showoff! :p:

I'm a camel toe man myself.. :p:

:eek:you've got one of those:eek:

I hope Freddie is providing the staff! :D

Oi watch it you .:D

One hump or two ?:D:getmecoat:

First day off work in over ten years! I have gathered an ear infection (note to self - dont poke ear with oily finger) had to go to A&E as the poison was spreading fast!

Yeuk........:eek:


Looks sore Mate.:duh:

Just a tad matey, Weekend A&E visit was an interesting time though :D

All life is there ..:eek:

I wonder if they could cure the rash that I picked up in a bar in Thailand over 6 months ago?:eek:

Insect bite ????????:D

Cure for both ailments..........

Wire brush and Dettol:D

Certainly is, nurses were brill though :bowdown::bowdown:

Any photos ?:drool4:;):D

It could have been the Bird, dressed crab or both. I'm not sure. :D

Lol.........:D

I think because I only have a broken leg,I am not worthy of a visit to the Leyland surgery:D

Nope, only basket cases. :D

Sorry Jeff, left phone in the car!


Use your imagination :D

If I used that I'd get into all sorts of bother:eek:;):D

That looks REALLLLLY sore Andy. I hope the tablets start working quickly for you:bowdown:

Sophie's nan swears by tea tree oil for most things, TBH she is probably right as well even though I'd rather be tortured than tell her that:eek:

Ahh bless her heart and little cotton socks Tony, I hope Amelia is feeling better.

A great idea starting a thread like this Tony. One or two don't want to talk about their health or hear about anyone else's, as it gets up their nose and they want to take a pop or have a laugh at someone else's expense :shrug: Apparently with my bad luck, I must have been a very bad person or had bad karma ...they believe it! ;) :getmecoat:

Thanks Phil, we had her at the dentist yesterday and he said that it won't affect her adult teeth:D Which was a big relief as you can imagine, how are you feeling now Phil?

If that was the case then I should be in a wheel chair:eek: It's just luck, not some cosmic being picking who gets sick and who doesn't, the social forum should be what threads like this are for IMO:D

Good news that Amelia is going to be okay and no harm was done :) I am seeing the Doc this morning and the surgeon next week to find out if I need a bypass and the leg can be saved. Otherwise, nothing else :)

Good luck with the doc Phil,hope you get mended soon,all this hobbling around is not good,I am at the fracture clinic Friday and hopefully my leg has mended after 7 weeks in a cast.

Keeping everything crossed Phil.

All the best Phil,

Let us know how you get on .

Lets hope the plaster comes off on Friday and that everything goes well. It will be a relief Steve to get back to your old self, footloose and fancy free :}

This a.m, the doc put a Doppler on both feet. It listens out for the sound of the pulses. One foot was better than the other. The GP said she is sending an email asking if I can be seen by the surgeon before next week.

To top it off, a letter came this afternoon from the hospital telling me that the appointment next week to see the vascular surgeon, had been cancelled until Wednesday 20 January 2016. It seems they want to leave it until things get really bad. Anyway I have been on the phone to ask to have this brought forward in light of the GP's findings. I told them the GP had emailed them today, asking if I can be seen this week, sooner than planned. If gangrene takes a hold I will be stuffed. I was told to wait for a phone call.....

I'm really sorry to read this Phil, I hope that they can get you in this week to see the surgeon. The way that they just cancel appointments is criminal, people aren't seeing the doctor for a social call, if they have an appointment it's because they are unwell:mad:

All of what Tony said Phil,

You know the system better than all of us having been on the front line.
I know that gives you an insight into how things are done and hopefully will allow you to use that to your advantage.

I wonder how peeps cope with the system that don't know how to ask or don't have the support of family and friends to help them!

Keep up the good fight Sir, anything we can do please let us know.

WOW.---Don't be fobbed off. You need help right now. That's disgraceful--'Leave it till it gets bad'. They wouldn't do that if it was themselves needing help.
Keep on keeping on. Best of luck with it.



John.D.

Thanks for that Tony. I couldn't wait and rang the surgeons secretary. back. He said the earliest appointment I could have was 14 October. This was the pits, anyway I told him to let the surgeon know that I have decided she can go ahead and do the bypass. He will leave a note for her to see together with the GP's email that I should be seen urgently.

What I learned from the 30+ years working in the NHS, is that it is the ones who kick up a fuss, make a complaint or the loudest noise, they are the ones who get seen first or its hopscotch.... But when you are feeling that sick or so ghastly, all of the fight goes out of you, so it's left to either an advocate or wait in line until you are called. I have a private scheme Tony, but to be honest despite the NHS problems I prefer to stick with this for the time being, as the private sector does not quite come up to the NHS skills and know how in my opinion.

Best of luck Phil, keep your chin up and don't stop fighting Sir:bowdown:

Good morning John, thank you :) that's a very strong point, if it was themselves. A point I will use to back my case up. How is the house going, did you manage to get a smaller place? I hope you are well :)

Morning Phil, hows things today with you?

I had a fantastic nights sleep, 9 hours straight through. Jessica tells me I am much calmer since being on the morphine :) I am getting ready to go out for the therapeutic walk. I had a look at your photo of your bad ear. That looked to be so painful. How are you doing Andy? Has it affected your walking?

Thats good to hear mate, sleep is a good help. Im ok, ear is improving apart from the soreness, balance was ok, woke up this morning with man flu though, need some nurse pictures to get us through lol.

Resident Nurse's surgery is open

http://i941.photobucket.com/albums/a...wport-news.jpg

Sorted my blood pressure out a treat :bowdown:

Do you not have any BIG nurses ??????:D

I can see a couple of big things :eek::eek::eek:

I mean big.....:D

Best i can do buddy....


http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/m...psffsplbqs.jpg

Or even a bloke! :eek: :getmecoat:

Ahh the face of an angel :drool4:

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c4...36B28.png.jpeg

Defiantly not the come hither look is that.:mad:

That's it I have just enrolled at another surgery:eek:

How's the waiting times.:D

These have been hired just for you George, no uniforms yet because of the cost of buying 45 normal size kits and sewing them together:eek:
http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/...psv0gqqvky.jpg
http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/...ps4g73idcc.jpg

We also hired a couple of consultants to bring you back to life after you die from over exertion:D
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http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/...pshpnzcexj.jpg

That's the whole point mate, you've got to work some of that size off them:getmecoat:

There is a subtle difference;)

::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: :eek::eek::eek:nooooo

It was only the fear of the glove toting maniac that made your leg heal so quickly Steve!:getmecoat:

Posted on the LCOZ before I realised I should post here....I had a interesting day on the estate....I was knocked on the door about 7:30 to go up to a friends/neighbours house as he was feeling unwell, he was called by his doctors surgery that the blood test he had pointed towards him having pancritus and a chronic one at that, nasty stuff. He left me money, the keys and some dog food, leaving the house with paramedics close behind he showed me where the leash was. I then went up a few hours later to take the dog for a walk, the dog was having none of it so he bit me! straight through the thumb nail and took a chunk of flesh of the soft pad of my thumb! Three hours in A%E and four stitches later I'm back at home after trying to figure out were the strange sound was coming from in my cars PAS system, another problem for later I might think!

A full day then .......:getmecoat:

Owwwwww, I hope you can still use your thumb:eek:

A day later it s really sore and fairly numb (I was expecting that anyway), have to be careful typing as I usually use my thumb for the space bar and it hurts with any pressure to it! Rolling cigarettes is a no no (I guess its healthier that way). I'm meant to be doing a upgrade to my pillar drill today, but will give i a miss as I can't hold any tools with that hand :eek:

Got to see the local nurse on Monday to see if there is any infection and to change the bandage.

You'd be amazed at the amount of times this happens to our drivers:eek: When they're putting a card through the letterbox and a sneaky dog is the other side it's usually the 2nd finger though, but always through the nail:mad:

Dogs are quick .

Too quick.

I don't like dogs :mad::D

I've almost been had a few times George, but I'm a bit cagey when it comes to letter boxes. I use my pen to push the cards through, it's about 15 pens I've lost doing that though. Better a pen than my finger though:eek: I'd be sitting in the garden waiting for the owner if one bit me:devil:

You could insert a pen then .:D

I'd be inserting a pen somewhere if a dog bit the end of my finger off:eek: Neither the dog nor the owner would enjoy the insertion, I'll guarantee that:devil:

Fantastic, it feels like I've got a chest infection coming on:mad: Nothing like a nice cough and icky feeling to make a man happy:duh:

Good morning Tony :) I am sorry to hear your under the weather. It's that time of the year, particularly for those like yourself who are out and about mixing it with the public. Last year's flu jabs turned out not to be so effective, as in previous years. I am not sure about the latest batch. I did have one last autumn, but still came down with the bug. I am keeping my fingers crossed that none of the old b.....'s in the club come down with it this winter :)

One of the old drivers I worked with on the railway was a real hypochondriac. The Sunday Post newspaper had a column written by a doctor, the standing joke was what ever the Sunday Post doctor wrote about Wullie had it by Monday afternoon!

That is a sad story to read Steve, Hypochondriacs are worriers, with anxiety about their health and sometimes underlying mental health issues/ depression. There is hope for them given the right approach through cognitive behavioural therapy or medication. I hope your former colleague got the help he needed.

How are you doing Steve?

We had a couple of hypochondracs at work,we used to say sometimes,"you do not look well" knowing they would go home sick, and we would then do their duties on overtime:D

So THAT'S how you can afford a Norwich City season ticket ;):D

We're talking early '80s Phil! He was regarded as a chancing ...... who phoned in sick for any reason he could find.

Reasonably restful night, just a couple of times. Shoulder is kinda behaving itself today, nagging a bit as I've been out to the shops.

You're a very naughty boy, now go to your room without any supper:D

I get chesty all the time Phil, I should really stop smoking I suppose:duh:

My finger is attempting to heal itself from the dog bite I received last Thursday, all was okay until I tried doing some wood lathing on Monday afternoon....split right open, now its weeping and nasty. I've cleaned and bandaged it (steri-strips, dressing pad cut into a "T" shape and covered in fabric tape), I have some photos of the cut, I would post but I would probably make all you guys squeamish! The nail is still raw and weeping clear liquid, but is not as bad as I feared, as the bruising has now gone down and the pain nearly subsided! Stupid Dog! (the owner was more worried about his dog than my hand and I didn't touch his dog or lay a finger on it (apart from what went in its jaws!:eek:) he ended up apologising to me; three days later. He warned me, if I ever came near his dog again he would knock me out cold! (I offered to look after it while he was in hospital and that is when it happened, so I only "touched" his dog to take it for a walk and the terrier got me!:eek:))

I don't like owners that care about their dog so much that when it attacks someone they don't care about you and immediately think that you have hurt their dog in some way, I hear this is a common occurrence and I will not be ever talking to him again!

He also got a red marker or paint marker and wrote "dog murderer" on my letter box door and cracked my window smearing red paint everywhere, and before anyone asks the police are now involved! (I didn't want to but since he has caused criminal damage to my property, I thought it was necessary, sad times we live in)

Is the owner suffering from mental health issues:eek: He sounds like an absolute nightmare, you definitely have my sympathy Stuart. Getting the police involved sounds like the only option he left you.

He's suffering from delusions/hallucinations and some other nasty health effects which I believe have been brought on by his pancreatitis (the reason he went into hospital (he told me).

The police are just having a word with him over the damage to my front door and I didn't want to tell them, but he, as you said left me with no other option, as I was scared about my personal safety and my property.

Hopefully we can temp him into hospital again to get his pancreatitis sorted out (as he discharged himself as he wanted to be home with his dog and refused their treatment plan (which he chronically needs). I think his delusions/hallucinations are coming from low insulin levels in the blood which is caused by impaired function of the Pancreas, the main reason he needs to get back in hospital pronto. I'm trying to sort out another home for his dog tomorrow so we can get him back to health again.

But he must have some other underlying mental health issue as he is doing this to himself.

If it was me Stu I'd leave him to get on with it himself. If you're trying to sort a home out for his dog then he may actually attack you, especially if his delusions are telling him you mean his dog harm. It's a sad state of affairs when you need to worry about your own safety just for helping a neighbour:shrug: You're a nicer man than me for even trying to help him again:bowdown:

Fair enough, I will try to keep my distance for now and see what happens as I don't want to start anything with him again and yes I guess you are right as you never know what's going on inside the deluded mind.

I lost 2 former friends and colleagues to end stage pancreatitis. They were both alcoholics and despite surgery and the best care available, they died. Neither of them were hostile or deluded at the end. Not the best way to go. If I may suggest, do not involve yourself any further, given the nature of the man's threats and unpredictable behaviour. Leave him be to social services or to the police to sort out. You would not want to be drawn into his delusional world, take it from me.

Very strange but the cough has gone:shrug: No icky feeling either, that's the shortest chest infection I've ever had:shrug:

Worst dog bite I had was from our own Daschund when I was young. I was playing with him, he adjusted his grip on the toy and put one of his canine teeth through my thumbnail :eek:

I see the waiting room is full this evening:D

It's the special doctors we brought in Steve:D

At the end of last week my doctor decided to try me on some anti inflammatory tabs as well as the pain killers, this week while taking Naproxen as well as Co Codamol has been the first week in the lady 12 months that I can remember not having any pain in my hips:eek: This as you can imagine has put me in a better mood, has allowed me to get more done in work and it hasn't made me like a Zombie:D Great result for me then:D

Can I have an appointment please .

Had a cold for two weeks .
Sniffles tickly cough and wheeze.


:duh:

Certainly, just take a seat. The doctor is just preparing himself.

http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/f...py-giggles.jpg

I suddenly feel much better....:eek::getmecoat::duh:

I suppose I should re-open the surgery and give it a cleaning before all the festivities begin again.

All ailments catered for, unless they are self inflicted then we reserve the right to make fun of you with no conscience whatsoever:D:getmecoat:

I have an embarassing itch .

Could you recommend a suitable cream ??!:D

For sure George! Wire brush and Dettol mate, cures all itches within 2hrs guaranteed:D

I find a really virulent curry does the trick - eaten that is, not rubbed on :eek:

Chop some chillis then go for a pee without washing your hands first. The ensuing pain will make you forget about everything else. I am speaking from experience :panic:

:eek::eek::eek:

Not that but i did once rub my eye post chilli chopping .

It was BAAAAAAD.:duh:

I rubbed Deep Heat into my joints, then forgot when I went for a pee.

My mum could not stop laughing.

Happens regular with me, I'm a lot more careful now, make sure I give my hands a good scrub after chopping chillies.:eek:

My wife is a nurse so we always have a good supply of surgical gloves in the house. I now wear them when I'm chopping chillis.

Has the surgery got owt for sprout overload! It's not smelling to good in here. :eek::D

http://i.imgur.com/yzFzmGi.gif

Best contact Dr. Coolcat he is an expert on sprouts.

Stick a cork in it .:D

The lack of release could have disastrous results.

http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/exa...rre/explos.gif

Sorry I've not posted in the Surgery before. I was too ill to get here :)

Whatever happened to patient transport services ..:shrug::D

Its in the workshop at the moment.

https://c5.staticflickr.com/6/5792/3...898a7b715a.jpg

Look!
 

I am delighted to offer a new service! I can repair all ailments with my state of the art tools!

I've got not just one, but two hammers, a drill and lots of alcohol that can be used to clean stuff, and also to control pain.

Dodgy joints? No problem! I propose drilling a hole, tapping in a thread, inserting a grease nipple and with a high quality grease, you'll be fine in no time!

I really believe I'm on to a winner here!

Dr L Worldmaster.

You have plainly lost it ..:p:

Are these grease nipples true medical apparatus or just some you bought at a car boot sale? No inferior products allowed in here ye know little bro:D

Not sure if Stu ever had it.

I've had a blow back through my suck through tube. Can it be cured?

Only with the aid of £50 and a back street surgeon:eek:

........................was hoping a ride in the V8 would pay for a cure.

Make a will mate ...:D

Do you have a supply of extra large nipples for George?

Oi you .

Mustard thief .

Do one .:D

Fifty quid and a back street something but not necessarily a surgeon!

Rub some mustard on it:D

Polite term for a lady of negotiable virtue :getmecoat:

................and my humpty pumpty has failed. I have noticed the OAT has gone a funny colour.