Ointment For It?
 

Whilst listening to an item on the news this morning, the interviewee stated that he's "always up early, I have dogs!"

Maybe it's just me but immediately, I thought, you can get ointment for that!

It's like when Santa went to the doctor with a mince pie stuck up his bum. The doctor said "I have some cream for that."
The old ones are the best.