The fastest thing in the world
 

Paddy, Dermot, Michael and Mick sat round a fire on the building site.
Paddy says to Mick... 'what do you think the fastest thing in the world is?'
Mick says ... 'blinking'.
'Blinking you say' .. says paddy, 'yes' says mick... you've heard the saying ... in the blink of an eye. 'oh yeah' says paddy, very good.
Paddy asks the same question to Dermot.
Dermot says 'Thinking'... 'thinking you say' says paddy, 'yes' says Dermot, Just look at all the thoughts running round in your head all at the same time, it's got to be fast eh!
'I suppose so' says Paddy.
Paddy asks Michael the same question, 'what do you think it is'? Michael says...'Electricity' 'Electricity you say' says paddy, 'Yes' says Michael... you flip the switch and the light is on ..instantly!
Mmmm, 'I suppose you could be right' says Paddy.
Mick says to Paddy ... ' As you started this, what do you think the fastest thing in the world is then?'
'Well' ... I think it's Diarrhoea!
'Diarrhoea' says Mick, how do you arrive at that?
'Well' says paddy... I wasn't feeling very well the other night after a takeaway and before I could Think, Blink or turn the light on ... I s**t myself.

In this world of never ending political correctness please do not be offended by the nature or reference to our gaelic cousins, it is after all an attempt at light hearted humour.