The All New 75/zt Social Banter Thread
Hello everybody and welcome to the Brand new all singing all dancing BANTER thread.
Everyone is welcome in here to have a laugh , tell jokes [clean of course],and generally mess around :D. Please if you post piccies make them humourous and not too near the bone . Here's hoping the thread can run as long as the old HIJACKERS HIJACK thread ran and just to let you know that i will be abandoning that thread and posting in here in future . GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY old and new .:D |
Will there be a limit on the number of jokes that this thread is licensed to carry? :p:
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Can I practice my Scottish accent in here though? :D
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You are of course an honourary SCOT .;) |
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Well och aye the noo to that. :D
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http://youtu.be/wioh5qUj7fM |
I was talking to my welsh mate taff the other night about sex and how many he had slept with over the years, he started counting and nodded off
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I meant to say not on your life but there's a typo slipped in somewhere. :D |
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You mean he was counting Deer? |
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Bet you would have it was about a poor little haggis... Run, run my little friends...:D:D:D |
well this is nice is there a bar and who's round is it?
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OH DEER...DEER OH DEER..:shrug::D:D |
Is it permissable to post a tech question on here? :getmecoat:
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You'd like to think it was George's but..................... :getmecoat: |
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we might need a bigger car park
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Welcome, one and all to this new thread. I was so impressed the team were back and handed out two flyers today. One car was for sale:D:D:D
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One Flyer is enough for any one thank you very much..:getmecoat::getmecoat::getmecoat::getmecoat: :D |
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The stuff I drink is Champagne from the shoe of a virgin:D Sorry, I mean the stuff that gives you your eye sight back after 2 1/2 days:D:D:D |
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Shaped like what...:shrug: An old cow on a toilet you mean.?:shrug::D |
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Whoaaa! what's happening? the social thread being all sociable again:D:bowdown:
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Thought your team played in blue and white...:shrug:... Why the scarf George,,:shrug::getmecoat::getmecoat: |
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It is Alf Garnett.. Soooo there...:p::p::p::p::p: |
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http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/...lubCard001.jpg |
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Must stop drinking this Polish plonk....:getmecoat::getmecoat::getmecoat: |
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Tried it once, but it seems to take the paint off..:shrug::shrug: |
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Once again, Poppy is lost.. eek. :D:shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug: |
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Blackadder is on GOLD at the mo , it,s the episode with MAD McMAD his scottish cousin :D
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A man goes to the doctor and says.....
"Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm going deaf!" The Doctor has a quick look at him and says loudly.... "Can you describe the symptoms?" Man says.... "Yes, Homer's fat and yellow and Marge has blue hair!!" :D:D:D |
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dont know whats happened to my sig pic but since i was sent on gardening leave it,s went AWOL :shrug:
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Nectar of the Broke: The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk Nasty stuff:puke: |
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Bowl Licks:D |
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Jay, whilst I get "See what I did there, Lee Evans." You are certainly one up on me in the strange sense of humour stakes.. eeek. pmsl. :shrug::shrug:;):D |
can I be an honnory Scot Geoege ?
im tight enough lol - id skin a trump (he f words censored) for an halfpenny |
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Tractors !! Tractors !! Tractors !! (and diesel fumes)
Little Johnny was 2 years old when he got a little pedal tractor for Christmas. He instantly fell in love with it and ignored all his other gifts to spend every possible moment pedalling around the house in his wee tractor. When he was 3 his mum used to walk beside him to the shops and to the Mothers & Toddlers group as he pedalled his wee heart away in his tractor.
For his 4th birthday wee Johnny was awe struck, over the moon, when he woke up to see a battery powered mini tractor with hand operated bucket. This sealed Johnny's love affair with tractors and as he grew his passion for farms and tractors grew intense. As a teenager, Johnny's pals would be down the park playing football, or scouting the streets looking for talent, but Johnny was off on coach and rail journeys, to rural areas, just to spot tractors and farm machinery. When Johnny left school he immediately got a job labouring on a farm. After a couple of years learning the basics of his trade he got his driving license, and started learning to operate the farm machinery, as well as driving the tractors. Well this was it. Johnny was becoming a farmer. Johnny was still working away hard on the farm when, for his 21st birthday, his parents presented him with a brand spanking new John Deere tractor. He was ecstatic to say the least thinking all his dreams had come true. One day Johnny was ploughing the bottom of a field, right next to a river. Johnny's ploughing gear turned up some large boulders overhanging the river bank. The undercut bank gave way sending the plough down into the river. Johnny's wagon lurched violently and was pulled down the bank into the river where it came to rest on it's side. Johnny sustained a serious head injury in the fall and lay unconscious in his cab with the water lapping around his face. Fortunately a passing car had witnessed the carnage and the occupants were quickly on the scene. They dragged Johnny's lifeless body from the cab and called the emergency services. It took Johnny 6 months to recover from his injuries, and when full recuperated he was none the worse for his accident, other than one thing. He now despised tractors. It became a phobic hatred against tractors. Quite understandable given his brush with death. Years later Johnny was sitting in his local pub enjoying a quiet pint at the bar. The bar maid was complaining all the time of how smoky it was from people's cigarettes (pre smoking ban of course), and Johnny, having grown tired of hearing her moan about it exclaimed to the bar maid.... " What would you say if I told you I could clear this pub of smoke in a few seconds?" The bar maid chortled and replied.... "That would be something else that would, eh!!" Johnny quipped.... "Give me a free bar for the rest of the evening if I do it?" The bar maid laughs and says... "Aye right then, give it your best shot JOhnny!!" Johnny walks over to the pub door, looks back round to the smoky lounge and takes a great big deep breath. Half the smoke lingering in the pub air suddenly disappears into Johnny's lungs. He opened the pub door and exhaled the lot outside. He repeated this and blew away the rest of the smoke to the utter astonishment and congratulations from everyone. After a good few jars things are quietening down and the bar maid sides over to Johnny and asks... "Johny, that was amazing tonight, how did you do that though?" Johnny replied... "Easy, I'm an Ex-Tractor Fan !!! :D:D:D:D:D |
Immigrant.? Is that anything that is not English....:shrug::shrug::shrug::getmecoat:
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oh dear :getmecoat:
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tell me you dragged and pasted that because it must have taken ages to write :shrug::D |
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Are lesbian dolls catered for in this thread? I would expect so....
http://i907.photobucket.com/albums/a...eLaw/a1212.jpg Don't their faces look real, eh?? You would, wouldn't you!! |
Well what with my gardening and other exertions today i'm knackered , so its off to kip for me .:grouphug::bed::rofl::getmecoat:
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Oh, you mean RAB.....http://media5.picsearch.com/is?FwYucRIvtpG9DWeKfbwmKAqNed0zI4qKnqjuPxt5U4w even this.....[IMG]httphttp://i1005.photobucket.com/albums/...oppy75/is1.jpg://http://i1005.photobucket.com/albums/...oppy75/is1.jpg[/IMG] |
I took much delight in listening to an experienced Scottish specialist paint sprayer at work earlier this year advising me on how to refurb my wheels.
One of the highlights was him telling me to " Gor and get ya h-wheel and fitch a bleeden tacky rag. H-what have I told yoo aboot kayping one orn yoo young man?" |
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The man himself |
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And Now For Something Completely Different: It's QUIZ TIME:D
NO Prizes; NO looking at Google, Wikipedia etc. 1. In which TV programme did Mark McManus (Taggart) make his debut 2. His real name is Marion Robert Morrison. By what name is he better known 3. In what year did Kermit the Frog first appear on TV (it was pre-Muppet Show) 4. Who was the Beatles first drummer 5. ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ is a song from which musical 6. Why is 15 April 1912 ‘A Night to Remember’ 7. Nogbad The Bad was Arch Rival and uncle of who 8. What was the name of Tin Tin’s dog 9. In which year was the first Paddington Bear book published 10. What does James Bond (007) and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang have in common |
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6. Titanic sank 8. Snowie |
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2= John wayne 6 = titanic sank 8 = snowie 10= both written by A flemming |
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4. Pete Best 7. Noggin the Nog 9. 57/58 ? |
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NOGGIN THE BLOOMING NOG.?:shrug: WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT THEN..... I demand to know why i have been shut out of this thread... Ageism,,grrr, :shrug::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D |
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Obviously not..:shrug::shrug::shrug: Who is / was, Noggin the nog.?:shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::sh rug::shrug::confused: |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noggin_the_Nog
Not old enough either.... and I knew No 4 was Pete something, just couldn't remember the surname |
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Philistine !! , you'l be telling me you've never heard of Ivor the Engine either ! , good old Oliver Postgate :D:D:D |
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Will post another quiz later (Friday night, getting busy at work now) |
Hi Poppy,Noggin's on you tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTcStBUW2Ao |
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:shrug::shrug: ABOUT THE 2ND ONE, BUT THE 1ST WAS A TRAIN WITH A FAT CONTROLLER,,??? Yes...I have heard of just Oliver...:shrug::shrug: |
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Urban myth , they were never actually called that , shame though , would haver made it more interesting ! :D |
It was the magic roundabout when I was a kid. I'm sure it did something to me:D:D:D
http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/...roundabout.jpg |
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KING OF THE NOGGS.? :shrug::shrug::shrug: Flipping heck.... Riveting....:getmecoat::getmecoat::getmecoat::shru g::D:D:D:D:D |
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I'm stuck with the music from it going round in my head now ! Time for bed :D |
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Well, weren't they brothers then....:shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug: |
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Shhhheeee - aco Shhheeee - aco Shhheeee - aco !!!:drool4: |
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Did you know that women were banned form operating steam trains.
Yup, they didn't want them getting up the spout.:D:D:D |
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Bring back Dylan the hippy Rabbit ! :D |
Are you two on drugs....:shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug::shrug ::shrug::shrug::getmecoat::D
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http://i907.photobucket.com/albums/a.../callamero.jpg |
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you are both missing the most important bit at the end Baaaaaaaaw Baaaaaaaaw! :getmecoat: |
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its only now when you look back at it, how psychodelic it was to those in the know. Dylan was my favourite, with the guitar. Know I know why his eyes were half closed puff;):D |
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WHAT, A DUCK THING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SHEEP.??/:shrug::shrug::shrug::D |
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Nooooooo , the duck thing sounded like a Spanish waiter , Ivor the endgine sounded like the sheep ! :D:D |
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One early morning of a Columbian themed all night party, and we're sat watching The Hoobs, and this puppet policeman appears on the screen with a toy helicopter in the background, and proceeds to decalre himself as ... "the copper with the big chopper !!" Well that was it. Buckled for hours.:D |
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Well, Ducks that go Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Dope smoking Rabbits and something called zebedooda that apparantly says time for bed...:shrug::shrug::shrug: Time for my bed now me thinks as my head is hurting now....:D:D:D:D:D:D Nite Nite all.... Crackpots....:D:D:D:D:D:D
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Dylan. Magic roundabout;)
http://i1096.photobucket.com/albums/...y560/Dylon.jpg |
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Dylan was the man !! |
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How many kids programmes I have had to watch from one generation to another. The point is TIZWAS, magic roundabout had an adult theme hidden behind them so it was not a slog to watch them with the kids. Now days its painfull at best. :shrug::D:D |
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